somewhere in Hollyoaks

another day in the hood

2011-04-16T15:52:00.000-05:00

"So what are you saying?" Randy looked at Neve who had been seeing to his boys for him on his late night shift at the hospital. "I haven't grieved enough over Franny?"

"I just think its too soon for ..you..you and Newt to make a family. Its too soon." Neve was pretty much showing her pregnant self now. Even so, Randy saw her as a pregnant witch of some kind. For all he knew, she had Cecil under some love spell. Yet, Cecil's little music business was thriving. He had bands signed up for local tours and a packed house most nights down at the club. Something was going good.

"You don't have to worry. All right?" Randy gave her a cross-look. What did it matter to that middle age rocker? So what if she'd been in a punk band once, and she still thought she was so cool. He wanted... really nothing to do with her, other than free-baby sitting.

"Don't you worry? What people will think?" Her eyes blazed into him then as if he better listen up.

"No. I don't." As far as anyone knew, Newt had moved in with him after his partner had upped and left him for Japan. It wasn't that big of a deal.

"I see." She kept staring at him as if that alone would change his mind.

"What is it that makes you so angry with me? What have I done?" Randy winced hard.

"I just don't want you to forget her. She loved you so. She made you a family?" Neve informed him.

"You didn't even know her." Randy swelled a frown. It made him bitter to even consider her thoughts.

He hurried home with the boys to find Newt waiting for him with waffles and strawberries.

"You, all right?" Newt asked as he got breakfast on the table.

Randy bit in to a crisp piece of bacon. "I will be." He promised.

"I really wished I'd kept the crew with me, but my cold and all, I just needed some rest, you know." Newt told him he felt bad about not tending to the boys. As it was, his own two were off with their mother.

"Its all right." Randy nodded as he looked around their small flat. "We should really find ourselves a house, you know."

"Yes, one with a garden spot. I always wanted to give that a go, you know." Newt nodded at the sound of that. He smiled.

"Then, get out your laptop see what you find." Randy sighed. He felt determined now to have a home with Newt. He wasn't going to dare listen to that old witch.

something like before

2011-04-10T17:12:00.000-05:00

Katy took a step back when she saw who answered the door. Was she seeing Franny? How could that be? She was speechless. Finally, Simon spoke up. They were there for Maxie. Naturally, she showed them the way to the room he was still resting in.

He was napping.

For a moment Katy wanted to be rude to him, but the longer she looked at him, the more she knew she missed him. She edged close to him and brushed her hands through his hair. Naturally, she startled him, but she smile and he looked up at her in shock. He'd still lost his voice so he couldn't say a word to her, but he hugged her to let her know he was glad she was here.

"We'll get him to the emergency, first thing." She told him.

Maxie one nodded.

A part of her felt as if she'd seen a ghost. After all Ari was Franny's doppelganger, now wasn't she? Katy wanted to know this person who had saved her husband's life. Was there any chance she'd be anything like Franny? Well, she had called them about Maxie. Katy supposed that was a good start.

taking the call

2011-04-02T23:29:00.000-05:00

"Bugger." Simon didn't know what to think. A mysterious call like that. About Maxie. He called Caity right away, she'd want to know about her husband, now wouldn't she?

"Do you want to take a drive? See if we can find him." Simon offered.

"Oh God, should I?" She sounded restless, but sad. "We had such a terrible row when he left, and..and..can I trust him?"

"Jesus, Cait, he's fucking ill, you know. He can't even speak. Its your duty to see to him, sickness and health, isn't it? You married him. Had his child. It can't be all bad, now can it?" He told her. But the silence grew. "Please, if you love him, any at all, you'll go with me to find him." Still the silence prevailed.

"All right." Her words were in a huff. This wouldn't be pretty, he supposed. But he made a call to Paddy, told him he'd be late from work. He wanted to see this through. Maxie needed to be home so he went around in his little economy car and picked Caity up at The Oaks. At least she was ready for him. It wasn't like him to leave the village much, due to those nasty gas prices.

"Where are we going?" She asked first thing.

"He's in the country. A cottage, out past the glen we always took the last days of school field trips too." He told her.

She hugged herself as if she wouldn't dare have a happy memory of it now or then.

"You can't just stay mad at him, forever." Simon looked over at her, all smug and bitter.

"I don't want to. Its hard. He lied to me, Simon." She was blunt as her hair crept around her face.

"He didn't want to see you hurt, all right. And its the past. He loves you. He wants to be with you." Simon didn't believe those were false promises. But they were on the skirts now. It was a beautiful green out now. Spring was on the horizon. He took the first old road on the right.

"Its just amazing he made it this far. Imagine, if he'd caught a bus, gone to London. Left you behind and took on a whole new idenity. Is that what you wanted Cait?" Simon gave her a slight scowl as it began to rain.

She shook her head, no.

"I want him back, Simon. I do." Caity broke down. "I just don't know if I can, you know, love him..like I did. Will he love me? It was a terrible row. I wanted him out of my life, but he's still here with me." Tears rimmed her eyes then. "I'm pregnant."

hard times

2010-12-26T22:56:00.000-06:00

Maxie wasn't sure how long he'd been on bed-rest. Obviously, it had been worse than a cold.

"It was a fever," she said and he looked at her blankly thinking he might start talking in a foreign language. Was he losing his mind? Of course, he'd lost his voice. That didn't really help matters. He looked at her face as her hair hide her eyes. One moment she was Franny. The next she wasn't. A part of him felt so sad that it couldn't be true. That a close friend was still alive.

He winced in tears then. A part of him felt so helpless. What use was there for him in this life. He shrank away then, hugging himself under the covers. He missed his baby daughter and his wife too.

She brought him his cell then. She had charged it.

"Should I call someone?" Her hand touched his bare back and he flinched as if might be pure pain to call home. For starters, he had no voice.

"Please, let me call someone." She seemed determined.

He felt like crying, but what good would that do? A part of him felt sick, again. He would not watch as she clicked on the phone and pulled up his contacts. Lord, knows who she would call. He couldn't think who would be on the top of his contact list.

"Hullo." She made contact with someone. "Yes, this is in regard of Max Graves. Do you know him?" It was quiet then. Finally, she said. "Me name is Ari, Ari MacDonald, and I found him out here, in the country. He's rather ill. And he can't speak....."

Maxie nursed his bottom lip. She wasn't even Franny.

After she put his cell away. She put her hand on his forehead.

"You are better. You really are." She made it sound like a promise, but what did she really know? Maxie looked up at her as if she didn't know the half of it.

holiday woes

2010-12-18T10:13:00.000-06:00

Sasha wasn't sure she had an answer for Katy. She didn't know where Maxie might be. He'd been out of the boarding house for weeks now. And it was suffering. No one picked up the slack. Bathrooms were going off the deep end. Power fading out in parts. Honestly, it was more than a fulltime job to keep this place going. Not even Jamie with his so called magic tricks was up to this kind of manual labor.

"Its all right, we'll manage." Sasha promised Katy who was trying her best to cater to those who needed a night to stay in the village. The holidays were upon us so travelers wanted a place to stay.

"You can say that because you aren't even here half the time. You've got that duty to get the kiddie's dance program going." Katy was a bit peeved with them all that she was on kitchen duty twenty-four/seven.

"Aye, I was asked to help with the Nutcracker." Sasha gave Katy an evil glare. She was trying to see what was bubbling in the pots on the stove. As it was she was getting paid for this gig and had recently been hired to replace one of the dance teachers at the studio. It was an uplifting job. She found good about her, again. And she wanted this and Jamie was delighted too.

"Of course, you were." Katy fretted.

"You coming down with something?" Sasha then wondered.

"Maybe." She was quite sensitive to the subject.

"And?" Sasha was a bit concerned now.

"It looks I'm with child." Katy winced.

"Really?" Sasha wanted to smile, but she couldn't. They really needed to track down Maxie now.

walking away

2010-12-10T01:27:00.048-06:00

Maxie thought about heading for Ian's first thing when Katy threw him out. She didn't want to look at him or anything else.

It hurt so as if a limb and had been cut off and he was left with nothing. He could barely breathe, but he kept walking with what little he had. He went through the park as if he had some place to go, but he couldn't stay there either. He kept walking, and soon the cold set in, but he didn't really feel it because everything he knew he'd left behind.

Maxie cried for some time. His tears so hot soon turn to ice, streaking his face. It was winter. He should have known better. But he didn't feel he should do anything for himself. He felt so broken now without Katy. And there was Grace to think about too. He missed them both, but she didn't want him. And there was nothing he could think of other than time for her to forgive him.

Yet he couldn't look back even if he wanted to. He just kept walking, out past the village, past the pastures into the forest, following the railroad tracks as he went. He wasn't hungry. He hardly felt the cold at all. He just kept going until finally he could go no further in the middle of the night Maxie dropped there in the grassy knoll as if he were closer to a glenn, the fairies might come and take care of him, but of course they didn't. He was left in cold, the wind blowing strong, but his eyes were still with his hoodie over his head. He dreamed of a warm place with a fire in a cottage with a rock floor. Soon enough, thats where he found himself, by the fire on the rock floor.

Maxie's eyes finally awoke as he watched the fire glow. His body was stiff. He could hardly move. It was tired and needed rest. But was she who he thought she was? He squinted to see her in the doorway of the kitchen, cutting potatoes for a soup.

"Frannie?" His parched throat could barely speak. He blinked. She looked just like her. So soft and sincere. Her golden hair put up, like Frannie's, when she began to cook. "Franny? Is that you?" Maxie tried to lift himself up.

She heard him then, and came to check on him.

Maxie winced hard, thinking he was the one who must be crazy. Maybe he'd crossed to the other side. He stared into her ominous blue eyes.

"Hush." He thought he heard her say. He struggled to listen to her words. He was so cold. He started to shiver. Maxie looked up at her, wondering what was happening to him.

dwelling on it

2010-12-07T01:00:00.034-06:00

Katy cooked a little in the kitchen, but it wasn't to Maxie's magnitude. He always cleaned up his messes, except the big one. His little trist with Ian.

She knew her husband was gay now. And it made her cry everytime she thought of it, or him, or Ian or any man, for that matter. It was so horrible. It really made her pessimistic of the world. Why couldn't she just accept it?

Well, he was not that bloke to her. It was as if she knew a different Maxie, one who was there to only please her. He was her best friend. He was the father to her child. It was not suppose to be that way. They were different from the average villager. Not feral animals.

As it was, she couldn't eat and the first week she threw up everything. That was when she was certain of it then. She was pregnant. It wasn't fair. Pop one out and soon enough, it was starting all over again.

"Well, I find you quite fetching." Rhys would come to that conclusion as if he knew what she needed. There in the kitchen of the boarding house. "You'd never be an old cow to me."

She didn't even speak to him instead she tok care of him with a punch in his belly and knee drop in the groin.

"Wake up, you fuckwad!" Would he ever change? Here he had Rae knocked up and still out of the prowl, and they weren't even down at the pub, but the kitchen.

Soon enough he was out of there, and she had oatmeal ready for Rae. Katy teared up at the sight of her. Poor thing. They would take care of her, with or without Rhys. She'd hoped he'd be a good father and a good man to Rae too, but perhaps it was just too late for the latter.

Rae was oblivious to just about anything. She would rather dwell on the X-Factor or Charlie McDownell's whereabouts.

"He is a dream, you know. I don't think real blokes like that exist." She spoke of the Internet star then. She deeply sighed and went on with her oatmeal to finish it up with some sweet green tea.

"Yes, its a shame you can't meet someone as delightful." Katy went on with a tired smile. "But you never know, you might." She had to have hope. She thought of Maxie then. He was the sweetest bloke. Perhaps it was she who had changed him. Maybe he'd always been gay.

a terrible thought

2010-12-05T10:54:00.000-06:00

"You know its all his doing, don't you?" Anita thought it might have been a dream, but she knew it true now. Who was really to blame about Maxie and Katy's split. Of course, it wasn't that she and Sebastian had some sort of telepathy between them, but there was a connection. She thought he might have the power to change it. Of course, he was so quiet these days. He spent most of his days in books at the University.

"What are you getting at?" Here they were in his room at the boarding house. He was sitting in the window watching the snow fall so peacefully. "That I have my brother's potential?"

"No, of course now." She winced, wishing everything would go back to normal. She'd heard Katy's whimperings as she stayed to herself now with her and Maxie's baby. Maxie was no where in sight. She so missed his huge breakfast in the mornings. He was glorious in his baking. Scones. Biscuits. Even huge dreamy muffins. Now it was so cold. Oatmeal and toast. The boarding house was going down without Maxie.

"Maybe you could ask if he could fix it. At least for the holidays." Anita wanted things to be wonderful again. They were one big extended family. But as it was, it had its secrets too, and it was Jamie who held all the secrets.

"I've asked, really I have." Sebastian nodded. "Jamie says he's done enough. This is only something they can do. Katy will need to forgive him. Perhaps, Maxie needs to forgive himself first."

"But where is he?" This is what troubled Anita the most. "Has anyone heard from him? Anyone?" It pained her to think he was gone for good. Didn't anyone care? They were a family here. Maxie was a great part of it. He was after all the manager of the establishment. Granted they hadn't had a new boarder in months now. "We need to find him, Sebastian. We need to at least know where he is."

She sighed heavily then.

"Come." He made room for her in the window seat. It was warm and cozy next to him. He put his arm around her and held her close. His lips touched the side of her forehead. "I'm sure his fine." He whispered.

"You know that for a fact?" Her dark eyes looked into him.

"No. I don't. But you can't worry so much." He told her, and when he kissed her, it was as if thoughts of Maxie had left her. She smiled then as if this was truly the only happiness she needed. Here with Sebastian.

amazingly so

2010-10-25T15:57:00.000-05:00

Well, they had more than a spot of tea for Rupert when he took baby Crystal to work. It seemed it had got around about the baby.... so the old queens got together to give him a baby shower. Really, it was the last thing Rupert expected.

"I just wanted you to know why I'd be out a couple of weeks." He was all smiles. They had lavished tea cakes an prezzies, all around. They wanted to make sure he treated Crystal like a princess. It was quite lovely. All pink and purple sets of clothes, a tutu for her as well, and her first tiara for her little onion head.

"And where is that man of yours?" Not one but a couple had to ask Rupert every few minutes. They'd expected he'd make an arrival with Rupert and baby.

"Oh, work, of course." Rupert tried not to make much of it. One of them did have to make a living at the moment.

"You sure, you haven't forgiven him for giving you such an undertaking?" Tess, the one who always won the weekly competitions, when it came to crossdressing and such. "How dare he even think of doing something so vain and horrible? And you coming in, to pick up the pieces. You must really love him."

Rupert tried to keep his smile. On second thought, it might have been wise that Soren hadn't come. Rupert bit his bottom lip, wondering just how to get out of this, gracefully.

"Really, it was not his fault. She drugged him, you know. Well, the mother of the child told me she was just doing us a favor. And well, Soren wasn't exactly cooperating, as it was, and well..really, really he loves me and so, there are no hard feelings."

Naturally, he was showered with silliness after the second to the last word he said. Hopefully, no one would try to beat Soren up for this digression. As it was, really it was a blessing. He kept reminding each and everyone, that it truly was.

catching up

2010-10-15T09:09:00.030-05:00

Jamie knew Sasha was worried about Rhys since Franny was gone. It was as if the symetry of their life had changed. But Rhys was still around to take care of Rae which he knew was well needed. It was about time he took some responsibility. He would leave well enough alone. But when he heard about Soren and Rupert's new predicument, he hadn't seen that coming.

"What have you done, really?" He'd taken his cousin in. And he thought things were so true between he and Rupert.

"Its not at all as it seems." Soren assured him.

"Rupert must be a forgiving idiot." Jamie knew he wouldn't be so charmed to take in a child on a whim like this. "Thought, you were finished being such a player?"

"A player!" Now Soren was offended. They were off in Jamie's study. "The babe's not mine, OK. Its, its very much Rupert's."

"Rupert?" Jamie winced. This was getting more and more interesting. "I thought you two were tight?"

"We are." Soren scowled. "Rupert is its uncle." Soren then looked as if he'd let the cat out of the bag.

"I see." But Jamie had to think on who the mother was. Gemma.

"She didn't know who the father was." Soren told him. "And she's married now. And another still on the way in a few months."

"Aw, that curse of Kelsey's." Jamie nodded. Gemma was her sister. "Didn't know it ran in the family."

"Can we just let this alone." Soren was about to be wound up about it. Mostly for Rupert's sake, he guessed.

"You sure you two can make it on your own with a babe to handle?" Jamie wondered if he'd really thought this through.

"I dunno." Soren gave him a serious look. "Rupert is the care giver, you know."

"He's quitting his job?" Jamie wanted to know.

"Just a few weeks off, with Chrissy." Soren acted as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Well, you know where to find us." Jamie reminded him. "We'll help you. All of you. Just don't try to be a hero."

Soren almost smiled as if he hadn't thought of being a hero in all of this, until now.

snap! its a baby

2010-10-10T15:46:00.000-05:00

"What's this?" Sasha came to investigate what was going on in Soren and Rupert's room. "I thought I heard a baby?" It couldn't be true.

"Sorry." Soren was a bit closed mouth. Rupert was seeing to it in a straw basket. Just a pillow under it, for comfort.

"Boys?" Sasha winced. "What have you got yourself into?"

"Its nothing." Soren shrugged it off as if it might be some babysitting gig for a few hours.

"Well-" Rupert started as he looked at Soren.

"Who's is it?" She went to check it out. It was only a few days old. So tiny. But such beautiful blue eyes and quite an onion head. Yet, quite adorable.

"Actually," Soren cleared his throat. "Its mine." His smile was a bit weak.

"Really?" Sasha gave him a glare as she touched the baby's bare tummy. "How come she looks more like you, Ruppie?"

"Hmm.." Soren had to think a second with his hands on his hips. "She's..she's blonde. We wanted someone blonde. Actually." He pressed a smile then as if that was good enough for an answer.

"A blonde?" Sasha looked at Rupert and then Soren,"And you paid her?"

"Acutally, she wasn't into the whole motherhood...kind of thing. And um..well, see..Rupert forgave me, and..and all is well. Right, Rupe?" Soren hugged himself quickly giving Rupert a stare.

"Yes...." He gave Soren a look wondering what else he could say. "All is forgiven." The baby fussed then and he picked it up.

"Really? You two are just full of it, now aren't you?" Sasha shook her head. "Well, lets find it something comfortable to sleep in." She'd find a baby bed somewhere. "Did you think to name the poor little thing?"

"Yes, its Chrissy." Soren smiled.

"No, it isn't. Her name is Crystal." Rupert shot back, holding the baby close.

one step beyond

2010-10-08T07:39:00.000-05:00

"Dunno if putting my name on the birth certificate was the thing to do?" Soren squinted now as he looked over all the papers now.

"Christ, couldn't very well have been me. I'm her brother after all." Rupert reminded him. He was juggling the nappybag and the little one. Soren almost laughed.

"You're about to lose Chrissy." Soren took the baby girl from him. It was starting to rain. They had to get on the road. It would be an almost four hour trip home.

"Its not Chrissy, its Crystal." Rupert gave him a sharp look. His blonde hair ruffled in the wind."Don't you remember, anything?"

Soren got the baby in the backseat carseat. He would chauffeur the two of them home. Finally Rupert got settled in the back. He felt a little sad that

"You sure we'll have enough room for all of us back at the boarding house." Soren looked at him in the rearview mirror.

"We'll make do. We have too. Not like neither of us have a trust fund." Rupert looked so tired. Soren could see him dozing before the infant did.

"One more reason why we shouldn't have taken the challenge, but its too late now." Soren sighed. He just didn't know if he could live with such a lie. Could he ever really be someone's father?

some things are left cold but still fuel the fire

2010-10-06T23:33:00.001-05:00

Maxie still felt a chill even out of the rain and back home. It was so dreary out. It was just so cold. Everyone was so quiet back The Oaks. He was shocked that Rhys had came back with them to be with Rae. He seemed different now as if he knew where his place was, and it wasn't just a little visit here and there with Rae. He was bringing her tea so Maxie decided what was left in the kettle he'd make a brew for he and Katy.

Naturally, he found her watching the baby sleep.

"Come on, she can do this alone." He promised as he put his arm around her. They went to couch at the foot of their bed and set there with the tea and biscuits. It was only early afternoon but it felt like late in the evening. He could see Katy was tired, yet he thought it was time to come clean about a lot of things.

"All this, that's happened with Franny, makes me want to be more true to you, you know." He started, and when her very round eye looked at him so seriously. He thought he should just sip his tea and forget about what he had to say.

"What is it?" She winced.

"Its the past. Really, thats all it is. But." He squinted hard. "God, Katy-"

"What? You slept with Franny?" She wondered.

He shook his head.

"There has been someone. Maybe more than one." He would not mention Jamie. It was just mute. "Look, I-I often wondered if-if was cut out, for this kind of thing." He closed his eyes. "I-I was with Ian."

"IAN!" She spilled her tea then. It was going to be just as bad as he thought. Or worse. Her voice shook the baby awake. She had to go tend to her. When she looked back at Maxie, it was if he were a right evil at this moment. She swooped the baby up and opened the door. She pointed to it. He was to leave. Now.

sort it out.

2010-09-30T03:33:00.022-05:00

It was a soft rain at Franny's funeral. Cecil was sure it rained all week, after-wards.

Of course, Rhys had came to him all bitter. He wanted his son now. He jerked Bart from the crib, but the toddler screamed and cried so that Rhys let go of him. Cecil guessed Rhys figured out the boy had been through more than enough, already. Who Bart actually wanted was neither of them, but his brother Nico and Randy.

"I think we should try to keep together, as long as we can." Randy had his hands full with the infant. He was so stoic. It was as if everything had been taken away from him.

"At least we can keep the boys while you're at work, and when you need us." They'd work something out. He didn't want Randy doing this all by himself.

"I've got the next six weeks to figure it all out." Randy sighed. He looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks.

Cecil had decided to be friends with Randy. They weren't really blood relatives yet they were family because of Franny.

"We won't let you go hungry." Neve took care of that part. She took care of the infant too. "Really, you've been through a lot. You give us a few hours with the new babe and have yourself a rest. You need it. You truly do."

So they'd decided on letting Randy eat most dinner with them. The boys were getting settled and maybe even the baby too.

some things never change.

2010-09-27T03:19:00.017-05:00

Could the day get any bloody worse? Rae felt sick. She felt as if she could trust Rhys.

Of course, her world had mainly been so leisure lately. She had everything she wanted. No, she wasn't rich and she hadn't asked for much. But she'd felt so good here. She had a place to sleep. She could read, write, play video games, the internet. It was all at her finger-tips. Yes, she helped a little around the house, and she ate with everyone. It was a friendly place. But she'd stayed away from the outside world. She never went past the garden gate. And Rhys would visit ever so often. It was good. It was completely an unharmed life.

But Rhys told her nothing. He left. Said he had something to do.

"Will you be back?" Of course, he didn't answer her.

"You do know he's a bit not right the head, don't you?" Anita winced.

Rae swelled a frown.

"But he said we'd be a family." She rested her hands on her bulging belly.

"Of course, you are." Anita put her arm around Rae and helped her to the kichen table to try some of the short bread cookies.

"I don't think I matter to him." She was teary eyed. "Like all the rest."

'I'm sure that's not true. He was just here." Anita told her. "He'll be back." Anita hoped that wasn't a lie.

"I bet he'll forget about taking me to the shops, like he said he would. He said we'd go to shops. He doesn't want to be seen with me, does he?" Rae bit into a cookie then.

Anita just sighed as if she knew Rae was right.

the burning question

2010-09-24T03:09:00.023-05:00

Rhys thought it was just a dream. Franny. But it hit him like a jolt. He knew exactly who she was. The mother of his child and he'd acknowledged it. Had he?

He thought he might be ill, but he could see Rae needed him and yet he felt the desire to go to Cecil's to see the boy. This memory loss was a fickle thing. There were things he'd chosen to forget and perhaps, Franny had too. But he feel certain she still loved him. Always would. But he knew it was his doing. How he chosen not to remember. He thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe it had to do not wanting to be obligated to anything. And yet like a vicious disease, he was on the threshold of being someone's father.

"I want to see the baby." Rhys announced to Sasha.

"What? Who? What are you talking about, Rhys?" Sasha winced. She pulled the cookies from the oven. The squeak of the oven door made Rhys wince.

"What baby?" Rae was at a loss. She didn't understand.

"You know the one." Rhys sounded so profound. "Rhys talked about her boy, to me. I know who he is. I know he's my son. I want my son."

Rae looked at him wide eyed as if that was not suppose to be. She was suppose to be the only one with this connection to him.

"Please, I must." Rhys looked at them all that they were hiding more things from him. "What else have you not told me, Sasha."

Sasha backed away. She left the kitchen and went upstairs.

it couldn't be the same

2010-09-20T02:54:00.028-05:00

Anita was dressed in black just as Sasha and everyone else. Franny was on everyone's mind. Even Rae's.

"Its terrifying." Naturally, Rae was thinking of her own situation. "Her of all people. It just isn't right. I was so in hopes she'd be my couch, you know, for the birthing classes." Anita could see Rae didn't want to be alone and she felt more alone now than she thought possible.

"You have us, just..just think positive, will you." Maybe Anita didn't feel much better that Rae, but she did have Sebastian and he seemed to sooth her nerves more than anyone. The truth was...they must go on. And they'd all help out with Franny's household. She was a part of their family even if they weren't blood related.

"Did anyone call Rhys?" Sasha looked at the girls in the kitchen who were making soup and sandwiches. They were going to have a rather dismal wake.

"I thought that was up to you?" Anita hadn't an inkling what Rhys' mobile number would be.

"It wouldn't mean much to him, anyway." Sasha was sure of it. She hugged herself and went to check on what baking in the oven.

Just about then someone run at the backdoor. Anita went to get it. It was Rhys who was all smiles.

"What the fuck's got everyone so dreadful?" Rhys looked at everyone's faces. He went to Rae right away just to give her hug. She started to cry then.

"Franny." Sasha gave him a stern look. "She lost her life giving birth to her little baby girl."

Rhys hardly blinked. He just gave her a stare. A stare that turned mad. He stood their holding Rae, as he meant to do something. But he was practically a statue. Anita wasn't sure what to make of him. Really, she felt a bit dizzy herself. She thought she might need to lay down. Perhaps a nap was in store. She just wasn't sure she was up for a wake. She kept imagining how awful Randy must feel about now. He was back at the flat with the infant. She knew she didn't have the strength now to see to him. Someone else would have to be there for him.

just believe

2010-09-15T02:56:00.024-05:00

Newt knew somebody had to be there for Randy. He'd made the calls needed and what he couldn't get done for Franny's wake, Jamie took care of the rest.

After all, there was the baby girl to take care of. She was sweet and looked as fare as both Randy and Franny.

"You thought of a name yet?" Newt helped him with the infant when Randy got back to the flat with her. It was so empty now. Just full of Franny's things.

"I can only think of one name, but she's gone." Randy could barely sputter. He looked as if he had a horrible cold.

"I think she'd love it, you to name her after her mother." Newt tried to smile.

"Frannie. Just Frannie. Baby Frannie." Randy was a bit stiff and did his best not to show emotion, but that was all he had.

Newt took the baby and put her in her crib. He came back to Randy. Finally, Randy let go and had a good cry. All Newt could do was to hold him.

"I never thought it would come to this." Randy could barely whispered. Newt got him to bed then. They were fully clothed. Randy had his back to him but was still wrapped up in Newt's warm. He was so sad. Newt rested his face against Randy's back.

"Its not your fault. It isn't." Newt told him, but Randy didn't answer. He laid there hemorrhaging in tears that came in waves. But Newt didn't let go. Finally they kissed. Newt's hands came around Randy's face. He touched his abs. Kissed his neck more. Newt wasn't leaving Randy now.

how it came to be

2010-09-12T02:47:00.001-05:00

Cecil didn't know what he was suppose to do when he heard the news about Franny. It just didn't seem true.

"You should help out." Neve told him she'd do her part.

Cecil was just numb. How could she have died during child birth? A part of him was angry. If they'd stayed together, if he'd never fooled around Ingrid, well, she'd be with him, alive and well. But no, she'd fallen in with that kid and now.... Cecil melted into tears.

"Be strong, you can be. You have to be." She made him go to Sasha's and bring home Bart.

"But won't Nico miss him?" They were brothers.

"He can stay too." Cecil just nodded. He guessed there was room. Of course, Gemma was off God knows where and Lyle was all depressed about his sister, Amy..he didn't know about.

"But can you handle it?" He looked at her hoping nothing went wrong with the birth of their own child.

"They'll be nothing but angels." She smiled as if she could put those two in their place just with a glare.

Cecil tried to smile, but he felt he'd failed Franny when she'd been nothing but kind to him. He missed her so now. He wasn't sure if he would ever be the person she'd always wanted him to be. A good father to Bart.

in a jam

2010-09-09T02:11:00.003-05:00

Randy was picking up a few groceries they need. It was there that he noticed the message from Sasha. He called her as soon as he was on his way on the street.

"What is it?" Randy wanted to be there for the birth of his child.

"She seems to be in a lot pain." Sasha had the kids with her. "It might be an all nighter. It looks to be."

"I'm coming. I'll be there." He clicked off his cell and wondered what to do with the bags of groceries. First mother he saw that looked like she could use the basics he handed it too. "Here." He handed them over to her. "Its an emergency. My.." She wasn't exactly his wife. Should have been, he knew. "My girl's having a little one."

Reluctantly, the woman took the groceries. He ran then. Didn't even stop for a taxi. It would be all that far. He could do it.

He'd heard from Newt earlier about Billy leaving him for Japan. He was stunned. What did this mean? Newt still had Leia and Liam to look after. Amy had just had her baby. They had a housefull. Randy had wanted to ask if this was his doing. If Billy knew about him and Newt. But it was best not to talk about it. He was just quiet. Really, he couldn't do much about Newt's predicament now.

Randy made his way over a cross walk and through the park. He ran by a soccer game and almost through the fountain to take a shortcut to the hospital. He was on his way.

By the time he got there, they had Franny hooked up to all sorts of monitors. He didn't understand. What could have gone wrong.

"Its breached." A nurse told him.

"We'll have to do surgery." They told him. He just nodded. He wanted them to do whatever it took. But he could hear Franny tell them, no. It was a mistake. Randy grabbed her hand. He didn't know who was right. The doctors had to be. They had to know what to do.

"It'll be all right, Babe." Randy gave her a weak smile. She was listless though. So weak. Randy winced at her pain, but there was all this determination around him to save the baby. He hoped they knew what they were doing.

in a sad way

2010-09-05T14:06:00.002-05:00

"Are you sure, you're all right?" Sasha sensed something wasn't well with Franny. Her complexion was practically ash.

"I guess so." Franny looked so tired. Sasha had brought her dinner at Franny and Randy's flat.

'You should take some time off." Sasha suggested as she went to set the meal out of supper.

Franny was wabbling around slowly. Really, Sasha had never remembered her dear friend ever in this much distress while with child.

"Can't. Really. Need to get as many hours as I possibly can." Franny breath was restless.

"Where is Randy?" Sasha thought he should be here to take care of the kiddies, if nothing else. The older one was everywhere and the baby was in the crib, but wanting to get out.

"He had things to do after work." Franny got situated on the couch.

"Like what?" Sasha winced. He was suppose to be here for her. He was the one she needed. Her better half. Young at that, and very well capable of doing more than the bare necessity. "I'm calling him." Sasha slid out her mobile in place, but only got Randy's voice mail.

"I'm really worried about you, Franny." Sasha looked at her. She laid there on the couch. Suddenly Franny's body heaved, and she shut her eyes tight. Sash knew then Franny was in pain. She was calling the medics.

in the realm of it

2010-07-17T14:28:00.001-05:00

Sebastian couldn't quite put his finger on it. But he could feel it. Sense it. Something wasn't right with Randy. Something had changed. But what was it? He questioned himself then. Did he have some power that could read thoughts now? He didn't think he could, but what if he could?

"Just don't do it?" He found himself saying to Randy down at the pub where they met for a lager. Perhaps, he did need Jamie to decipher this, this thing he could hardly grasp. It gave him headaches from time to time, but he always knew when Anita needed him. And he was there as if he could catch her if she should fall. But she hadn't. She was busy with studies and it was good things were plodding along so healthy and true. But then this, with Randy. It was so troubling.

"Franny needs you more than ever, any you know it. You can't leave her." Sebastian informed him.

"How did you-" Randy just glared at him as their drinks were served.

"I just do." Sebastian sipped his drink. "And it was only a kiss. Remember that. Thats the way it starts."

"All right." Randy gritted. "But what if-"

"It'll be far more fucked than just a fuck, if you keep this up." Sebastian was sure of it. "You were just a phase with him, anyway. Newt just wanted to see if he was still sexy, thats all. That's all it was. Nothing more. Nothing less. He hardly fancies you at all." That might be a lie, but Sebastian felt it needed to be said. "Forget him."

Randy only nodded.

Sebastian didn't want to frighten him. But he knew. He could feel it. Franny would have no more children after this one. He was certain of it. The feeling felt like ice coming over him. He thought he might choke, but he sipped his drink as he knew nothing of it. He looked at Randy. He needed to be a father to her children. He had faith in him, that he'd be a good one.

how its suppose to be

2010-06-28T02:00:00.014-05:00

"So, you and Billy patch things up?" Randy wanted to know from Newt as they were getting ready for work at the hospital.

"There was nothing to patch up." Newt informed him.

"There wasn't?" Randy sucked in a breath. He thought of how Newt had kissed him and how it had been in the shower.He couldn't quite stop thinking of it. He wanted too, but it was there when he had a moment to himself.

"I was just tired, OK." Newt winced as if he'd been sleepwalking.

"Yeah, sure." Randy nodded as if he understood completely when he didn't. "You love him, don't you?"

"We have two kids." It sounded so mandatory.

"Right." He was having a baby with Franny. "Franny wants more kiddies."

"Well, won't you be busy." Newt smiled.

"Not with me. A surrogate." Randy sighed.

"Really, is that true?" Newt winced as if it might be the most painful job ever. "You should really change her mind, about that."

"I know, I want too. But its like I don't even know here anymore, you know." Randy scowled.

"Sorry." Newt gave him a pat on the back. Randy just looked at him as if he so wanted more from him, but he was sure he wouldn't get a thing from him.

small changes

2010-06-24T02:49:00.023-05:00

Sebastian knew where home was. It was where-ever Anita wanted to be. But it felt so unusual to be back. And Jamie wasn't exactly eager to talk with him. He had to go find him out in the garage looking under a hood of a car.

"What do you want now?" Jamie looked at him suspicious.

"I can't have exactly everything I want." If he could, his mum would be here right now with them. "She was your mum. You knew her, possibly the best. I just wish I had an inkling about her. Yes.. yes.. I'm mad at your Dad. Its just I never want to be as evil as he must have been to her. I don't wish for him to know, who I am."

"You sure about that?" Jamie looked at him as if he must have lost it. "I don't know if he's changed, Sebastian."

"You've tried." Sebastian knew Jamie had done a bit of magic on him to make him bearable.

"Yes, but you see he's taken up with that cousin of yours, and- God knows, what that means." Jamie shook his head.

"Well, he's away from both of us. That's how it should be." Sebastian wanted nothing to do with the man."I wish I could think of him how I used too.

"How are things with you and Louie?" Jamie wanted to know. Sebastian walked out back on the lawn with him so Jamie could do some gardening.

"All right." Of course, he hadn't mentioned to his real father he'd came back to the Oaks. Sebastian was beginning to think not much had changed. Not really.

something to think on

2010-06-18T02:40:00.009-05:00

"I wish I'd thought of that." Rae was there when Franny dropped in about her idea of serrogating for families.

"Rae, you're just a babe yourself, have one first. You might have an awful time." Sasha assured her, there in the kitchen at the Oaks. She was getting everyone settled with one of her casseroles for lunch. She had Franny over as well as Katy, too.

"I think its sweet." Katy admired Franny.

"But she hasn't even given birth to this one yet, and you'll have to wait a good six months or so, right?" Sasha reminded her.

"It'll be like a gap year." Franny was smiling as if she were on drugs. Rae just looked at her, who was already waddling. Not like Rhys was showing up much lately. She'd feel terribly alone if it weren't for this bunch, carrying so much about her.

"What is she going on about?" Rae was confused. Sounded like school to her.

"Franny, you need to take some time off. Let that bloke do the work, aye. He's fit enough. If you need business, get him to do a naked photo shoot. He could get work on the side posing for art classes at the Uni." Sasha suggested.

"I have the kiddies future to think about, you know." Franny looked at her.

"Now, now, its Franny's choice you know." Katy nodded. "Maybe she enjoys being pregnant." She dug into the cheesy dish.

Rae scowled ever so slightly. She could think of plenty other things she enjoyed more than being pregnant.

moody blues

2010-06-14T02:33:00.006-05:00

"What is it?" Randy looked Franny over. She looked odd, to him. Perhaps it had something to do with him and Newt being together in the shower. It was on his mind. He hated himself for bouncing back to his old ways. He hadn't meant too. It was that he got the distinct feeling, not all was well with Newt in Billy. And that's how it had happened. Had nothing to do with his feelings for Franny. He was just consoling Newt. That was all. Well, he wanted to believe it. Atleast.

"Don't tell me your depressed." Randy went to make tea for Franny. Her days were long at work. She needed to be pampered, but he was so tired too. And truth be told, he was the one depressed. Actually.

"No, I'm fine." She rubbed her tummy. She was so quiet. They waited for the kettle to sing and he brought her a brew. "Do you think I should have children for couples who can't?"

"Babe, you haven't had this one yet, you know." Randy scowled.

"But, lets say I did," She looked at him as if it might be a dream come true. "I could be home with the kiddies. Yeah?" She smiled.

"Guess so." He wasn't sure he wanted to look at a pregnant woman all the time, though. It wasn't like they had sex, like they used to, and when they did, he was so worried about the baby. "I see your point, but you're on your third kiddie, already, Franny. Must we?"

Well, that set her off. She went to their room and shut the door. He'd really done it this time.

"OK. Whatever you want." Randy stood there outside the door. Things with Newt were looking more plausable by the second.

its a mystery

2010-06-10T01:17:00.002-05:00

Franny supposed Cecil enjoyed being married, afterall. Here he was again. With a new wife. Except, Neve was pretty old. Of course, she looked really good, and Franny was doing her best to not be jealous. Besides she had Randy now. And things couldn't be better. He was a medic at the hospital. She was a nurse. They were making ends meet. Really, she couldn't think of wanting to be anywhere else but here.

And she was going to have a girl. Finally.

But she'd see Cecil on the street, and he'd act if he didn't know her. Yet, Neve was not like that. Franny had a feeling the woman never met a stranger.

"Oh, aren't you lovely." Neve met her at the market one day. "Birthing is easy for you, isn't it?"

Franny nodded.

"Would you ever rent your womb out?" She wanted to know.

"I, doubt it." She smiled.

"But you could make so many happy, you know that, don't you?" Neve just smiled as she touched Franny's tummy. The baby moved to Franny's surprise.

"You could make a fortune." Neve reminded her.

"Oh, I dunno. My child is not for sale." Franny winced, wondering if that was what Neve was getting at. Franny moved on. She would have no more of that conversation.

Really, Franny couldn't be sure if Neve were a witch trying to plant ideas in your mind, or a gypsy of some sort who already knew the truth as if it were cut in stone.

catfight

2010-06-08T01:05:00.015-05:00

Mia didn't like what she saw, Theressa with Lucas, the guy Anita was suppose to marry.

"What are you doing?" The were having drinks down at the Black Cat. Mia had been playing the fruit machines.

"What does it look like?" Theressa was all over Lucas, and Mia supposed he liked it. It was so disgusting.

"She's a fake." Mia told Lucas then. She sucked on her sucker then and went on her way, giving Theressa the evil eye.

Naturally, Theressa didn't take that well. She followed Mia to the loo.

"Hey, don't you go around giving me a fuck'n hard time, bitch!" Theressa wheeled Mia around by her blouse.

Mia just grinned and stomped her heel into the toe of Theressa shoe.

"I know I don't look like I could hurt a fly, but I am deadly." Mia promised. "Leave Lucas alone."

"Why should I?" Theressa winced hard.

"Because, he deserves better." Mia shrugged as she took another lick from her sucker.

"Shut up, bitch." Theressa pulled Mia's hair then. Mia stuck her sucker in Theressa up-doo and kneed her in the stomach then.

"You're messing with the wrong bitch, now." She shoved Theressa into the wall, leaving her a mess. She guessed she was done with that sucker.

about time

2010-06-04T01:48:00.001-05:00

"You, OK?" Anita looked over Sebastian now as if he might have turned into a vampire of some kind. They'd found them a room just an hour away from Hollyoaks at a nearby hostle. Of course, they'd let Soren and Rupert find their own room for the night.

"Yeah, still not sure how you found me." He stared at her intently.

"Dunno, myself. Just a feeling I got, you know, that you needed me to find you. I guess." She smiled then. He smiled back and gave her a kiss.

"I feel so lost, you know, I thought my Auntie might have answers, but she turned out to be more of a mystery than me mum." Sebastian looked a bit like a sleepy boy who needed to be tucked in.

Instead they sat on the bed together. Holding hands.

"So, you have something to tell me, don't you?" His eyes were so bright and his smile was so open.

"You already know," She grinned back.

"Yeah. I just sensed it. Immediately." He told her. "The babe." He touched her stomach then. "I'm sorry. Really, if I could have, but blasted Louie comes and takes me away."

"But he's your father." Anita winced.

"Yeah. Only Jamie feels more like a Dad, to me. And gramp, what an asshole. I wished Jamie hadn't protected me from him like that." Sebastian shook his head.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want, too." She held his hand.

"OK." Sebastian nodded. His lips touched hers. Finally, Anita was where she wanted to be.

a rush

2010-05-31T01:46:00.001-05:00

Randy spent long days with Newt now. They were partners. Of course, he felt Newt knew more about being a medic than he did, but really Newt was the best teacher. He enjoyed being his friend. Yes, just friends.

Of course, there was a slight thought that he wanted more from him. Or maybe it was Newt who wanted it.

Well, it would be awful. Now wouldn't it? After all, he had Franny. And he loved her. She was the best thing that every happened to him. He couldn't forget that. But sometimes, he did. He did when Newt was around.

"You're a great family man, you know." Randy kept focused on that. "How do you do it?"

"Hard work, I guess." Newt told him. He did love Billy. They'd been together for sometime. It was the way it was suppose to be. They had Leia and Liam to look out for.

"I guess I'm new to it." Randy thought so, anyway. He wanted to be the best father. He did. And yet he felt so lost. Worried that he'd somehow falter.

As it was they had work to do. Bodies to bring back to life. Needles to put in to help revive a pulse and take away a pain. It was so fast. And quick. Really, it was its own natural high. It was a good feeling, a really good feeling.

Maybe thats why it happened that one time. It was time to go home, but Randy had to shower the sweat and the pain off. He was under the beating shower when he saw Newt looking at him. He couldn't help but look back. It was if Randy were someone else. Maybe his old self. Yeah, that's what it was.

They had been naked and wet.

He wanted to forget it now. But they'd kissed. Just kissed. That couldn't be completely awful. Could it? OK, they'd touched too. Just a little. It was mainly the kiss he dreamed of now. He just wanted Newt out of his head. But it just wouldn't go away. Thoughts of Newt consumed him. He was certain Newt didn't feel that way about him. He couldn't let himself think that Newt might have thoughts of him, too.

back in the sea-side village

2010-05-25T16:34:00.000-05:00

Sebastian hadn't wandered very far without a car. But he'd got away from his Aunt.

Honestly, he wasn't quite sure what to make of himself. He felt practically ill. No energy and so out of it.

"Where am I?" He asked them down at the pub. It seemed to be the only possible place to go in the village. Everything else was shut up or dead. Naturally, he couldn't get his cell to work here. He would have called Anita by now, but he just hadn't managed to.

Of course, when the old man at the bar offered him a whiskey, he wouldn't take it. Instead he wolfed down a bowl of fish stew and sour dough bread. Finally, he finished it off with some ale. He was starving and still couldn't make sense what the old-timer was talking about.

"You came down the mountain, didn't you, boy?" He just smiled.

"What mountain?" Sebastian wasn't sure what he meant. Was it a mountain where his Aunt lived? It felt as if the landscape had moved slightly with him as he went away from her cottage on the outskirts of the village. He then mentioned his Aunt's name.

"Oh, she's been dead for years now." The fellow rubbed his silver beard.

"Dead?" Sebastian squinted hard. "No, she can't be. I just-" Sebastian heard the heavy door open and saw it was Anita with Soren and Rupert.

He was in shock and so happy to see them. He went and hugged Anita right away, lifting her off the ground.

"How did you find me?" He was all smiles.

"Dunno exactly, I just knew where you'd be." She looked him over then. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I guess." He wasn't sure he wanted to admit he'd slept with a ghost.

possibly

2010-05-22T01:38:00.015-05:00

Theressa wasn't sure what to make of Lucas. She'd met him a time before. Couldn't remember the party even. But there he was plain as day on the street. And he remembered her.

Naturally, Rae was on her mind. She'd felt so lonely now. Of course, Rae wasn't worth cutting her self over or anything. Theressa still had her wits about her and Lucas was asking if she'd have a drink with him.

"Yeah, sure." It would be interesting. He wasn't exactly slumming. His smile was cute and he was so fit. "What are you doing around here? On the look out for Needy?"

"No." He was taking classes here. He just felt like it. She supposed. Well, she felt like doing things to, but it had nothing to do with classes.

"Do you miss her?" Theressa stared at him intently wondering what he thought of her. What he might say if he knew how it used to be with her and Anita, once upon a time which felt like decades ago.

"Hardly. Didn't really know her." His smile was so sincere and she couldn't help but smile back as she sipped her spiked juice.

"I had no idea." She kept smiling. She felt his fingers on her hand. It was a shock. But lovely. Still she was bored. She needed something. "Do you want to do something?" Thoughts of him undressed with her filled her mind.

"Possibly." If only he'd give her a straight answer. She guessed she'd have to find out for herself if he were really any good.

roadtrip

2010-05-18T01:01:00.000-05:00

"We promised we'd go." Soren was waiting with Rupert in the little black sport's car that Jamie had lent them.

"Yeah, but where?" They were waiting for Anita. It was getting dark.

"She has her feelings. She thinks its telepathy." Soren smiled slightly as he looked a Rupert who was sitting up front with him.

"Is that fuck'n bullshit or what?" Rupert laughed.

"Hush, she coming. We have to take her serious because she's taking it so seriously. She wants to find Sebastian. And we have to do it, you know." Soren sighed.

"What if he doesn't want any of us, aye?" Rupert winced then.

"We'll just have to see. Besides, we need to get away. And she thinks he's not all that far from Brighton Rock." Soren played with the wheel as if he were going fast already.

"Brighton Rock? Fascinating. Hope we get to go to the boardwalk." Rupert smiled then.

Just then Anita got in with a bag full of goodies.

"Crisps anyone?" She had sweets too and fruit. Everything you'd need for a trip.

"Ask me later." Soren started up the car. They were going. And he was ready to peel out of the village and feel like a race car driver. "Ready?"

Anita buckled up and nodded and a way he went.

to hide or not

2010-05-15T03:00:00.020-05:00

"I want to help you." Thats all Sasha wanted for Rae. "You need to enjoy your pregnancy."

Sasha had had to coax Rae into seeing a doctor. She seemed as if she was dead set on hiding out in the basement.

"What ever for?" Sasha wondered. As it was. She was great. Everything was in order. All Rae had to do was take care of herself and she'd have the baby come late summer.

"Dunno." Rae shrugged.

"Yes, you do." Sasha begged to differ. "You rob a bank, or something?"

"No." They were back at the Oaks. Sasha was making Rae a sandwich.

"Well, out with it, can't be that bad." Sasha set a meal out before Rae. A glass of milk too.

"Its Theressa." Rae bit her bottom lip.

"Theressa, what's she got to do with this?" Sasha winced giving Rae a stern look.

"She'll kill me, if she knew." Rae tore a bit of bread and ate it.

"Really?"

"It would break her heart." Rae sadly sighed. "She thinks I'm-I'm with her."

"What?" Sasha was trying to follow.

"She was fun. She was. I-I should have never gotten with Rhys. It was-different." Rae looked as if she might burst into tears. "She has a life and I don't. All right."

"Well, you very well have a life in you, so you better think positive." Sasha told her.

"All right. I'll try." She ate at the sandwich then.

Sasha wasn't sure if she should try to talk to Theressa or not.

the fact remains

2010-05-12T02:45:00.011-05:00

"You should be happy for your brother and Simon." Katy informed Maxie.

"I don't have to be." Maxie was indifferent about his brother's venture with Simon. "They just met. Now they are off to the beach. Its just crazy."

"Is it?" She looked at him out of concern. They were in the kitchen, cleaning up the dinner dishes. They now had a few coming in and out of the bed and breakfast these days. Finally, a little money was coming in to the Oaks. But they both had to work at this. It was a business after all.

"He's not what he seems." Maxie told her.

"And..what does that mean. An alien of some kind from another universe waiting to be on Dr. No? He's your brother and you have to be his brother." Katy sighed.

"Its not that simple." Maxie winced. I went with Dad and he went with Mum.

"Thats just tragic in itself." She told him as she scraped leftovers in the trash.

"Seriously, Kate, you have no idea what you're going on about. We split."

"Yeah, like possessions, I take it. That's not the way divorce should be." She glared at him. "You better make an effort about this. He's family. Simon is just as well family. Is there something else I should know about?"

Maxie froze then. He didn't want to dare mention his indisgressions with Simon. It had only happened once. Really, it was none of her business. It was just the idea that if he told her...she might never trust him again.

it can't be

2010-05-08T02:34:00.021-05:00

Frannie didn't want to admit it, but she'd never felt so tired in her life. She felt huge. She hadn't seen this coming with this pregnancy.

"You have to get this checked out." Randy told her. "I don't want something awful to happen."

"Why would you say such a thing?" True, Frannie was beginning to think she might be the baby-maker just as Kelsy teased.

"I've been thinking about-" Randy winced. He'd passed the medic training he'd needed. He had been offered to a job with the abulences now. "Well, Anita told me the truth."

"The truth? What are you going on about?" They had other things to worry about. Like getting by. What would happen if she were put out of commision with this pregnancy.

"That, that, it was my baby she lost." He barely could breath. It hurt to talk about it.

Frannie looked at him as if he'd said a bad omen of some sort.

"I'm sure I'm fine." She nodded. Of course, the flat was awful small and the boys had over taken them with toys. Nico was so rambuncious and Bart was scooting about, ready to crawl then walk, anyday now.

"Then, you shouldn't have a problem getting it all checked out." Randy reminded her. "You can't be your own mid-wife." But she felt she should, as many pregnancies she'd seen and endured.

somewhere out there

2010-05-05T08:23:00.016-05:00

Anita's eyes shot open. She was awake. For the first time. She knew Sebastian wasn't at that boarding school. She felt she knew exactly where he was. Maybe. Maybe.

Her eyes tensed as she tried to remember. Maybe it was just a dream. Or was it?

Well, she'd tell Jamie. She would. She'd tell him how she felt, yet something compelled her not to. To stay silent about the matter. But she didn't want too. She just couldn't. What did Sebastian want her to do? Go it alone on a whim to find him.

She got up and reached for a robe. She didn't want to. A part of her felt to fragile. She was not as strong as he thought she was. Suddenly, it felt they were already having a conversation. But it wasn't with words. Just feelings. This feeling of dread. This feeling that he needed help. Not like he was in pain or anything. Perhaps, homesick.

Anita put on her slippers and went down the hall to Soren and Rupert's room. She knocked softly. Of course, nothing. Not a movement. Not anything. Anita let out a breath. She beat on the door with her fist then.

Finally, Soren opened the door only in his briefs.

"Are you all right?" He just looked at her with concern.

"Sebastian needs our help." She then said without even second guessing what she said.

"How do you know?" He looked at her puzzled.

"Just a feeling." She winced.

"I can't go on feelings. We don't even know if he wants any help. He's in that big private French school now. All on his own. A big shot, perhaps." Soren looked at her as if he didn't want a thing to do with his cousin.

"He didn't go to the school." She knew this now.

"How do you know?" He pulled her in. Rupert was just waking up.

"I just do." She told them both.

"A feeling I suppose." Soren crossed his arms.

"Yeah, thats what it is."

"Well, how the fuck do we get there?" Soren was puzzled.

"I dunno." And Anita didn't. It was as if she'd have to take a leap of faith.

you evoke when you want

2010-05-01T03:19:00.003-05:00

They call it chivalry
Never pull a punch for free
You ever wonder why it had to move on
This phony article
That put you on the floor
A double standard
You envoke when you want
-broken bells

Sebastian could hardly breath. He felt he had been at the bottom of the ocean and was ready to explode. But when his eyes opened, he saw the sunlight stream through the curtains. He looked to see he was still flesh and obviously, not alone. There was Ava next to him, in the raw as well, too.

He jumped from the covers quickly just to find he hadn't a stitch on. He looked back at Ava, and scowled at the thought he'd been with her. He shook his head. No, no, it was dream. Just a dream. He had felt the damp wind at his chest, through the night. It was not normal.

He winced at the thought that he'd not been himself, at all. But just something she'd possessed. What did she want from him?

"What the fuck!" He cringed, trying to rummage for something on the floor to wear. He hadn't came here to be suduced. He just wanted Anita. He needed to hear her voice. But what could he tell her. "Oh, by the way, I slept with this Aunt of mine. She might be the bitch from hell."

But Ava was beautiful and quite at peace. He looked over at her, thinking he must be the crazy one. Not her.

Sebastian finally found a night shirt. Not exactly what he wanted, but it would do. He wasn't sure what was next. Did he stay or should he go?

the balance of things

2010-04-26T03:02:00.001-05:00

"Can you help us?" Sasha looked at Jamie as if he'd know what to do about the Rhys situation, as if it were something new, when it actually wasn't.

"Darling," Jamie almost laughed. "Hadn't I done enough, already?" He touched her elbows then and drew her in. She was his now just as much as he was hers. He'd messed up Rhys life, he knew, but it was just as well because Rhys would fuck it up royally in his own sweet time.

"I know, he's-" Sasha shut her eyes as if she wanted to not think of Rhys. "He's had his way with someone."

"And?" Jamie winced. "That's no big surprise."

"I know, but she so young and I'd hate for her-" Sasha turned away then. "I put her up in the room in the basement. She's with child."

Jamie just nodded. Well, it was bound to happen. A part of Jamie had wished. Thinking he'd go away from their future. Evidently, not.

"You know why I didn't want him to remember you to begin with. Of course, it was most of the accident's doing, and if things had been different with that Mum of his, I would have-" Jamie shook his head, no. "I would have left well enough, alone. But I had Risa with me at the time. And I guess it just got the best of me, but really, it all turned out wonderful, didn't it?"

"I'm not mad at you. Just change him, will you?" Sasha looked at him. "I know you have the power to do it."

"In to what?" Jamie scowled.

"A puff."

"What? He'd still be a wanker, tried and true." Jamie assured her.

"Yeah, but not so many babies in the village would be his then, now would it?" Sasha did have a cruel side to her that made Jamie smile.

"No, I pretty sure I've fucked up this man's life, already. Doesn't need another twist. We'll wish for him to be true to this lass you hid for him." Jamie decided.

"Very well." Sasha shrugged. She looked him over then. "How did you come about your powers to begin with? Did your mother show you."

"My mother was no more than a kitchen witch. She only did good with what she knew. She was a mid-wife and a very good listener, actually." Jamie went to make Sasha a good brew for sleeping then.

"Well, how did it happen? You got this power of yours?" Sasha looked at him seriously.

"I wish it were true, about me, mum. But I had to go looking for trouble. I found her sister, a good ten years older than she. And well, she scared the life out of me." Jamie just smiled. "I pretty much vowed then, I'd never let a woman touch me after she was through."

into oblivian

2010-04-20T01:57:00.001-05:00

Sebastian wasn't sure what to make of Ava, who was quite aloof..who seemed to think he was after something at the family's old home, where his mother had grew up.

"No, really, I just want to know her. I never had a chance." Sebastian told her as she wonder around the livingroom covered in pictures of a family he did not know.

"But wasn't it you who killed her, after all." Ava poured him a whiskey.

Sebastian wasn't sure what to make of that. He didn't know what to say.

"Of course, you didn't." She told him then, telling him to drink.

"But-"

"She was never happy." She sighed. "Not really. How could she? She was married to a Dean." Her smile was genuine,Sebastian supposed. He found it intoxicating. Or perhaps it was the drink. The combination was putting him under in a dream world. Maybe.

"Now tell me, what you really came for." Her eyes dazzled him.

All he focus on where those luscious lips of her. He notice the scattered freckles on her nose. She was just a girl, now wasn't she? Wasn't she?

But before she knew it, she was kissing him, quite so like a muse of some sort who could see right into him, or was it, she was letting him in to see her vivid self. In dreams of what she could do. It was as if she'd taken all the air from him, and tossed him into another world of some kind.

She had many lovers. Men. Men she would turn them into steads and ride across the cliffs until she could fly with them off the cliffs into the ocean.

Sebastian shuttered at the thought. Was that what she had in mind for him? One moment, kissing them passionately, whispering an unknown language into their ear and next having a go at them, romping as one with nature, through a glen of clover through the night. He could only imagine.

This was not what he came for. It wasn't. Why did it feel to him, that one dark room lead him to yet another in this very strange family of his.

what to do

2010-04-16T01:00:00.002-05:00

"I hope you don't mind, but I need your help, Frannie," Sasha said to her once she got her to the Black Cat for a drink with Kelsy. It was an outing of sorts. Girls afternoon, perhaps.

"Help with what?" Frannie was so tired lately. By the looks of it, Sasha imagined Frannie was carrying twins this time. She looked at Kelsy.

"Its a Rhys thing." Kelsy informed her. They'd all had a go at Rhys one time or another. But he was history to them.

"Rhys?" Frannie winced.

"Yes, suppose it was a matter of time." Sasha began. "He's gone and done it again. This time, she's just a kid."

"17." Kelsy clarified.

"Even so, she's just a child with his child." Sasha looked at them with disgust.

"Do you think he knew what he was doing?" Frannie wanted to know as if she thought of him as an imbecile.

"Damn straight, he knew. That penis of his, has a mind of its own." Kelsy told them.

"What do you plan to do then, castrate him?" Frannie asked.

"If only we could." Kelsy smiled.

"Lets just be serious," Sasha sighed. "We have to help Rae out. Tell her how it is with him. Soon enough, he'll do without her. He will. Its his way of living."

"So?" Frannie shrugged.

"Well, you've got a young, good looking strapping bloke to take care of you." Kelsy reminded her.

"Ha, I take care of him," Frannie shot her a look. "You aren't doing so bad yourself, now are you? And Sash you have a good man, too."

"So you think she'll find herself one, in the end." Sasha wondered.

"Maybe." Kelsy shrugged.

"I just don't think she's ready to be a mum. She's so young." Sasha looked at the both of them.

"Don't look at me," Kelsy said. "I've got a growing family as it is, and two blokes to think of."

"Yeah, Sash, we can't clean every mess Rhys makes or we'd have an orphanage of his children." Frannie told them.

Kelsy smiled. "Perhaps we could conjure up, something."

"What? Birth control for him?" Sasha shook her head. "You know spells can backfire." Sasha had done her best to keep her love alive with Rhys, and looked where that had gotten her?

"Well, Jamie would know what to do. He's much better in conjuring up, than me. He's a perfect in most instances. His mother was a witch, you know." Kelsy shrugged. Sasha looked at her as if she weren't to speak of it. But he did know a few things about the dark arts. She'd experienced it herself with him. It wasn't that he did it often. But Rhys was a case that needed tending to.

no charm left

2010-04-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

Jamie was sure of it. He had no power of persuasion over Sebastian now. He was as good as gone. Forever. Perhaps.

How could he think he could have possibly shaped Sebastian into anything now. Anyhow? Louie had set it straight. Sebastian was back with him now. And it was normal. All was normal. Jamie had to live with that. He did. He didn't want to because he loved Sebastian, after all. He'd be a father, a brother, what ever Sebastian needed, he supposed. But it was highly unlikely, it would be neither from now on.

As it was, his father had taken off with Ingrid, on a European poker tour. Naturally, his father never hit completely rock bottom. He was always up for one last chance and naturally, he'd go big when he had one. And with the lovely, yet smitten Ingrid on his arm, Jamie supposed they deserved each other. Oh, his father, could hardly bother with Sebastian, after all..he was that bastard his wife had before she took her own life. It was as if he had nothing to do with it. Never would.

"Well, it was good to know him, when we did." Jamie told his brother Colin about the matter.

"I don't believe you. Quit acting as if Sebastian has died on us. He hasn't. At least not yet. He is our brother." Colin still had hope that Sebastian would see they were only looking out for him.

"What's gotten into that head of yours? He hates us. And he has every right too." Jamie found no hope in lingering in this old mess. It was done. There were things to do. Each still had a job, and there were people in their lives who counted on them.

"You know, he has home here. He'll come back when he's good and ready." Colin told him.

"Yeah, well, good and ready might be a long time coming." Jamie wasn't counting on it.

a visit

2010-04-10T02:12:00.022-05:00

It took some doing. Lots of research on his laptop and side tracking Louie into thinking he was off at that fancy boarding school, but Sebastian had found his mum's little sister, Ava.

He was proud of doing so. Hopefully, if he knew her, he'd know his mum. It would be nice to have an inkling about that side of the family. After all, shouldn't that be where he belonged? He was his mum's child, after all. Perhaps, he could change his name. He could be where he belonged. But he didn't know how to explain it.

"I'm looking for Ava Kelly." He said right away to the woman at the door, who was pleasantly sweet and fair. Dark haired, just like his mum. A slight resemblance. She lived on the outskirts of a village near the ocean.

"Well, you found her." She looked at him wide eyed. "Please tell me you're not selling anything."

"No." Sebastian hoped to be honest with her. "Are you Liza Kelly's sister?"

"I haven't heard that name in ages." She looked him over. "Yes, yes, I am her sister. Do you know her?"

"I wish I did." He thought he might burst in emotion of some kind. "I was hoping you could help me. She's me, mum."

"What?" She winced. "Another Dean, is it?"

"Yeah, sort of." Maybe he didn't even have a last name, really. "Sebastian." He offered a handshake. She weakly gave him one.

"Sebastian?" She let him in. "Didn't know she had one quite your age. You see, we didn't see each other much once she left home. And I was just a child then, myself."

She went to make tea then. Sebastian just watched. He hoped she'd tell him something about his mum.

just a murmur

2010-04-09T01:58:00.019-05:00

"See, I told you things would be fine." Rhys was all grins once he got Rae alone, in their new place. Technically, he lived at home, but he'd be spending a lot of time here with her.

They wrapped up in each others arms, immediately. Snogging as if time had stopped. Soon enough, they were checking out the bed, even if it were thin and small. He could still make do as long as she could part her legs for him. She was a virgin and his to spoil.

It seemed quite brilliant in his eyes. She made him rather smart these days. It was best if she told the doctor that she hadn't a clue who's baby she might have conceived. This would be best if the government handled her circumstance. And she'd get money, now wouldn't she? Some help with classes at the uni too.

"You'll be set. Honestly, you will." Possibly they were lies, but he fed them to her and much as he pleasured her. All would be good. At least for now. He loved having himself wrapped up into her. As if this would carry him until the next one, might come along.

And in the midst of their joy a fucking, a figment of his imagination came hurling down at him. He could hardly catch his breath. He remembered Frannie. Just like that.

He came up for air. Almost frightened. Frannie had been honest with him about that brat of hers.. she said was his. It was only fucking lies as he thought then. But she'd been with him at the hospital after the accident. She must have loved it at one time. Hadn't she?

A cold chill came over him. He'd lost her for good now. She was just a stranger. He looked back at Rae, wondering if he could possibly be true to her. He wanted to. He did. He wanted to never forget her. If he could just be a better person this time. Hadn't he changed?

the ghost inside

2010-04-08T01:44:00.019-05:00

"What are you doing here?" Sasha was stunned to see Rhys on the doorsteps at the Oaks. With a teenager, no less. Rae.

"I didn't know where else to go." He sort of smiled, yet not.

"What's going on?" She let them in and took them to the kitchen for tea.

"I need a favor." Rhys finally said as he munched on a muffin for a bit.

"A favor?" Sasha wasn't sure what that might mean.

"For my-" He looked at Rae. "My friend here, needs a place to stay, you see. Until-"

"Until what?"

Rhys pressed his lips hard.

"We've got a bit of a problem."

"A problem?" Sasha looked at Rae, who looked innocent enough, she guessed.

"She's having my baby." Rhys stroked Rae's hair then as if he was with her now. Maybe. "It would just be impossible if she stayed with her Gram during this. And I can't have her with me, exactly."

"Oh." Sasha felt as if she couldn't help but choke on tears, listening to Rhys's carelessness.

"Would you? I could give you a little cash, if that would help."

"Of course, it would help, you prick." She had to be gruff with him. After all, he couldn't except the fact that she'd had his daughter. He wouldn't even look at Risa, but here he was coming to her for help. She looked at Rae, Sasha would hate to see her out in the cold. "There might be a room in the basement. Its small. Nothing fancy."

"We don't need fancy, now do we, Rae?" He smiled at the girl then.

"Really, Rhys, what have you done? She's under age, now isn't she?" Sasha winced.

"No, no she isn't, right babe?" Rhys shook his head. "She's 17."

"And you're are Moran." Sasha hoped Rae would figure this out before it was too late. "You just want her to hide that baby bump that's coming."

"Sash, it would mean so much to me if-if..you know." Rhys gave her that cute little grin of his. He made her sick to her stomach.

"Come on, Rae, I'll show you what we've got. But if you intend to stay here, you'll have to help out. Can you do that?" Sasha looked at her then.

Rae just nodded.

the good and the bad

2010-04-07T01:20:00.014-05:00

"Honestly, I'm so sorry." Randy told Anita when he met up with her for lunch at the school. These days he was usually at the hospital, getting training. His days at the school were numbered now. He was certainly taking advantage of the hospital.

"It OK." She tried to be strong. He knew.

"You look great." He smiled as if to encourage her. "I'm sure, Bastian we'll wake up one day and come find you."

"Yeah, a real dream I suppose, turn in to a nightmare, my luck." Anita sighed.

"Just don't give up." Randy nodded trying his best to savor the fish and chips which were so bland and tasteless. "Everything, all right?"

"Not really." Anita pressed her lips tight. That's when she told him about the baby.

"You have to tell him." Randy looked at her seriously as he dropped a chip. He wasn't hungry now.

"How?"

"Dunno, get ahold of that damn school. Tell them its urgent. At least tell Louie, if nothing else." Randy shrugged.

"For all I know, I'll lose this one too." She sounded so depressed.

"You're much better now, than you were back then. You have to remember that."

She nodded then.

"I guess you should know, the baby wasn't even his, Randy." She squinted then. "It was yours."

Randy thought he might have a slight heart attack then.

"How could you lie about something like that?" He winced.

"Because I didn't want to be so awful. I guess." She gritted then.

Randy didn't know what to say, but he hoped she was never like that again.

a teenage thing

2010-04-06T01:09:00.018-05:00

"What shit is this!" She went to Soren right away with the letter. Of course, she was sure she must have been interrupting, he and Rupert, who seemed a bit nervous that she she'd walked in on something in Soren's room.

"Let's have a look." Naturally, Soren stayed in his briefs a good bit lately, and really Rupert wasn't much better. Obviously, some fucking had been going on, but Anita acted as if she didn't know. It wasn't quite supper time yet. Rupert went for a shower to dress for work and Soren munched on an apple while he read over the letter.

"Looks as if its a Dear John of some sort. Sorry." He handed it back to her.

"But what if its not." She glared back at him.

"I say its wishful thinking on your part, Needy." Soren gave her a shrug.

She remained even lipped. She didn't want him to be right. She wanted to believe there was a message in this somewhere. If only he'd call. Why couldn't they bring him back to Hollyoaks?

"You know, he's not really missing anymore." Soren told her. "He has a mind of his own. Sounds like he's on the right track. A right Harry Potter, I might add. A pretty much prestigious school, you know."

Anita sighed. She shook her head. She sat down on the bed, wanting to ignore the smell of their sex. She broke down in tears.

"Needy, it was just a teenage romance, you know." Soren shrugged.

Anita shook her head, no. It wasn't. It was the real thing with Sebastian. She couldn't help to think it. After all she was caring Sebastian's child.

Soren gave her a hug then. It was odd. After all, he was practically naked. But he seemed quite fond of himself that way. She supposed he might be nice to confide in.

a letter

2010-04-05T01:01:00.019-05:00

Dearest A-

By the time you get this, I should be well on my way somewhere in the depths of the halls of a far away place in Switzerland called Lausanne.

Its best we break it off now. I'd be not much good to you, anyhow. I need an education, don't I? Well, you know, being a prat and all that I sometimes am. I want to change. And its best I do this. So not to worry. Really, I'm safe now. Hope I haven't caused you any dire consequences. Didn't mean you any harm.

Of course, this sounds like its coming from a dreadful rat, somehow. Really, you are dear to me. Always will be, but youth is on our side, and we should just make the best of it. You know, education would be a promising factor for both of us, at this time.

Just be you, A. Don't take crap from, anyone. Including me. You are the dearest. And I think of you fondly.

Thanks for the memories.

xoxo

S

the scheme of it

2010-04-04T01:00:00.003-05:00

Why was it, he could never seem to be on the right side, thought Sebastian. Somehow he was caught in the middle, and for what? Just to hate the other side of the family.

He studied his mother's picture more. She was beautiful, with her dark hair and her fair skin. He was glad to have it. He wanted it, near him, always. If only he'd known her. If only she'd known him. It was so not right. None of this. Now she was dead.

Sebastian rested comfortably now, back in his old room with the library books that Louie kept the walls filled with.

How he seethed Leo now. He hadn't a pleasant thought in his head about how Jamie had conveniently lied to him. It was as if Jamie had the power to wash over any unpleasant notion of his past. Except, Louie. He wanted him to hate Louie. It came so natural.

"I suppose I should just go away for bit. Send me to that private school you've been waiting ages for me to go to in Switzerland." Of course, Sebastian wasn't certain he could trust Louie, either. After all, he hated to admit he was even his father.

"Now that sounds like a good idea." Louie gave Sebastian a pat on the back of his head as if now the boy was making sense and his job was done here. He'd never have to see him again.

Sebastian just smiled back. Truly, if he was a born and bred scoundrel, then he had a job to do to. He knew he could lie with the best of them.

so it seems

2010-04-03T01:33:00.012-05:00

Anita was estatic when she heard the news from Randy about the tidbit that Frannie had passed on. Perhaps Louie was the key to all of this. Thus everything was set in motion. Only, Sebastian's cell phone was later recovered on the outskirts of town. Sebastian didn't even have a phone to call home.

"What could Louie want with him?" Anita questioned Jamie, who was being a little vague now. Yet, he acted as if he knew Louie had to be a part of this.

"Louie is just full of hate, thats all this is." Jamie sounded so certain.

"What do you mean?" Anita wanted to know.

"If I tell you, it'll all be lies to you. Some way or another, but remember Louie started all this." And thats when he told her that Louie was actually Sebastian's father. Jamie was his half-brother. "But he's still family. And I don't want anything to happen to my baby brother. I'd do anything to make him feel safe. Even if that means trying to be the Dad, he obviously, never had."

"What do you think Louie wants now?" Anita was worried.

"How should I know." Jamie was being his ominious self. "Lets just hope Sebastian won't forget about us."

Anita was praying that he wouldn't. After all, she had something to tell him and she wanted him to be the first to know.

such seriousness

2010-04-01T01:06:00.003-05:00

Soren couldn't help but goof around with Rupert. It was fun. They were having fun. Sometimes, he just wanted to take the serious out of it.

He dressed up in a frilly night gown for him.

"What do you mean? Its silly? Of course it is." Soren batted his eyelashes at him. Couldn't they have a laugh?

Naturally, Rupert took it the wrong way. Soren was making fun at where Rupert worked. At the tea room.

"Do you want me to quit my job?" Rupert looked at him as if that was his passion.

"Fuck, no." Soren winced. He'd have to be serious again. Now wouldn't he? As it was he felt as all he did these days were stand over a hot stove. Couldn't they be having a jolly old time when they were together? "Sorry." Soren plopped himself down on the bed and pulled the gown off. "I didn't mean to upset you. Just some fun, that's all." Soren looked at Rupert out of the corner of his eye. "You know, I've given up plenty of smokes for you, and this is the thanks I get." Soren looked away then. "Always, by the book with you, is it?"

"Soren, you know how I feel about you. I've given up a lot for you, too, hadn't I? You're all I've got." Rupert told him.

"And that puff of Dad of yours, what about him?" Soren looked back at him.

"I can't go back. Don't want to. I want to be with you." Rupert winced.

"Then act like it, you arse!" Soren shot him a serious look. Finally, he smiled and pulled Rupert into him. "Honestly, luv, you gotta let loose, sometimes. Can't be wound up like this everyday." Soren reached for his pot then. Rupert definitely needed a good smoke to unwind.

a possibility

2010-03-28T01:14:00.014-05:00

Randy hoped Sebastian still had his cell on him. Why hadn't he thought to do so sooner? Call him. He supposed Anita must have tried. Maybe he didn't want to talk to her because of their little spat. Maybe Sebastian needed him.

Randy nursed the corner of his bottom lip as he cleaned up the dishes after supper. He wasn't sure if getting involved was the right thing to do and yet, Franny already had gotten herself involved.

Of course, he tried Sebastian number and just got his voice mail. He plopped down on the couch then while Franny was in the shower and called Anita.

"Don't guess you've heard anything, aye." Randy said right away.

"Nothing." She sounded so sad as if this was all her fault.

"Frannie thinks she saw that brother or who ever he is, in town." He didn't mention that Franny had called Louie.

"Really?" Anita sounded as if it might be the lead they needed to help find Sebastian.

"I just wanted to let you know, it probably has nothing to do with you. He wouldn't just leave without you, like that. I know he loves you." Randy hoped he was right. Was he just a stupid romantic or what, he was beginning to wonder.

"Thanks Randy."

He hoped they found Sebastian soon.

thinking it over

2010-03-26T13:13:00.001-05:00

Franny was a bit shaken when she heard Sebastian was gone. She thought of Louie, wondering what he had to do with it.

"What's the matter?" Randy wanted to know. "Is it the baby?" He wouldn't let her lift a finger at dinner. He got the kiddies bathed and some very nice crepes ready as well. It was as if he was determined to treat her like a queen during this pregnancy.

"Really, I'm fine." But it didn't stop her from chewing away at her thumb nail. "Its just, it might be my fault about Sebastian."

"What?" He looked at her troubled.

"I-I called his relative in France. I-I knew him. Kind of. A neighbor, you see. I knew him from the park, and..well, I called him. Told him what Sebastian had been going through, lately." She admitted.

"You didn't?" Randy winced. "They aren't on the best to terms, did you know know that?" He served the dish and poured her a glass a milk.

"Louie was so concerned. I thought he only wanted to talk Sebastian." Franny sighed.

"What ever was, must have upset him." Randy gritted him then. "He can be such hot head, you know. Sebastian, I mean." He shook his head. But he went ahead and ate.

Franny nibbled at her chocolate crepes. Really, Randy was turning out to be quite a cook.

unfinished business

2010-03-24T01:58:00.018-05:00

Sebastian looked at the picture first thinking it was Jamie, but he looked harder and saw it was Leo. Much younger.

He didn't know what to say. Here was a picture of someone he'd admired until now. If it was true. Really, true.

And the woman. That's what brought him to the tears the most. His mother. Her hair was dark like his. So classic like with her Audrey Hepburn look. She was beautiful, and he'd never known her.

"What happened to her?" Sebastian looked up at Louie then.

"I had nothing to do with what happened to her." Louie shook his head. "They said she jumped off a bridge. Broken heart, I suppose."

Sebastian slightly shook, thinking he might go mad. He wanted it to be a lie. A fantastic lie of some kind. He just wanted things to be normal. He wanted to go some place he could call home. Without Jamie and his father.

He needed Anita. That was where home was to him.

what have I done to deserve this

2010-03-22T02:29:00.002-05:00

"Qu'ai-je fait pour mériter cela?" Louie whispered as he watched Sebastian sleep. It seemed the only way possible to have him to himself now. He'd had to take him out once again to just to get him to a room where they could be alone.

He was certain of it now. Jamie had brained washed him. Of course, it was Louie who had started the lie and lived with it so long. He'd never been able to tell his grandmother the truth because when she'd first seen Sebastian many years ago she just assumed that he was Louie's baby brother. It seemed, a mother he didn't know, was quite the wayward daughter and his grandmother had raised all her children. She just suspected he was another one. Of course, she'd told him then that she really wasn't up for it. Her health was bad, and she was very old. Naturally, he'd told her not to worry. He would take care of everything. And he had, for the most part.

But now he didn't know how much the truth really meant to him. Why had been so quick to give him up? Having Sebastian imagine all this time of someone regal and upstanding as his father. Well, Jamie certain wasn't that. And as much as Louie hated Jamie, he knew there was a time when he loved him too. Things could have been so different. He winced now.

If only he hadn't gotten mixed up with Jamie's mother. It had been such foolishness. Confusing and then maddening. When would it stop? When?

Louie took a deep breath.

"I want you to know everything." He shook the young man from his sleep. Sebastian was not a boy, anymore.

"What?" Sebastian winced.

"I know that you hate me. And you could possibly hate me more, but." Louie was dizzy at the thought as he sat himself down on the bed and looked at Sebastian. "But I am your father. Not Jamie."

"You fucking liar! Its not true! Its not!" Sebastian crumbled in a sad scowl.

"I've lied all this time. I have, and I'm sorry. Really, but you're mine. You're not Jamie's. You're his half-brother." Louie nodded.

"No." Sebastian shook his head. Of course, the drugs kept him from lashing out at him. "No. I don't believe you. I don't. I hate you. I hate you! Stop messing with me, will you!"

"But its true. It is." Louie nodded. "I was all of 15 when you were born."

Sebastian glared at him, silently.

Louie got out his wallet then and took out the only picture he had of Sebastian's mother and showed it to him. "I'm sorry I kept it from you. I am. But Leo is not your grandfather. He's the man who sent you away." Leo was in the picture with the woman.

a bitter time

2010-03-17T06:19:00.000-05:00

Anita couldn't think it could possibly be true. But Sebastian didn't come home. She felt faint when she thought it could possibly be her that had made him run away.

"I mean, I know he was pissed. But. But really, nothing to this magnatude." She was worried as she sat there at the kitchen table as she discussed it with Jamie and Sasha about the last time she'd seen him at the halls in school. She felt so devasted now. Naturally, Sasha put her arm around her while Jamie was on the phone to the cops about how Sebastian had not come home. It was morning now. What could have possibly happened?

"Sh, don't upset yourself. I'm sure its nothing." But she'd been on the phone with Franny. Niether her nor Randy had seen him. "I'm sure he's fine. I'm sure of it." She smoothed down Anita's hair, but Anita still felt quite frazzled and so unhappy about this.

"What could I have said!" Anita shook her head, "I was awful. I truly was. I didn't mean to be so moody. I swear. It just...." She sighed and the tears overwhelmed her. It was frightening, and she hadn't a clue what to do now.

"Damn him!" Jamie winced.

"What? My brother won't help?" Sasha looked at Jamie. Her brother was a cop. Maybe they didn't speak to each other much anymore, but he always did his job well.

"No. No, its not that." Jamie shook his head. "Its all Leo's fault. Has to be. Sebastian running away. He just wants to get his attention." Jamie had a stern look. "My father cares of no one, but himself."

it runs in the family

2010-03-12T02:08:00.002-06:00

Their similaralites were so striking. Katy knew immmediately who this stranger was. It was Maxie's brother.

"My God, I can't believe it!" Katy was stunned but laughter took over quickly. "You have a brother, Maxie?"

Maxie just stared at him as if he didn't want to let him in.

"Well!" Katy thought he was a bit rude. What could possibly go wrong to have family come?

"Yes," Maxie said staring more at the stranger who looked quite a lot like him. "I have a brother." He was so cold while he his brother was all grins. He gave Maxie a hug. He hardly acknowleged him. "Paddy."

"Paddy?" Katy winced. Well, she reached out to him. She shook his hand. They embraced.

"Yes, a very long time, dear brother, a very long time." Paddy smiled at both of them.

"What brings you here?" Maxie looked him in the eye then.

"Funny, you ask." Paddy laughed. "Met a friend of yours just out of Chester, a ways. Ian. He spoke of you. Just had to come. Especially, when I found out I'm uncle now. Imagine that." He gave Maxie a pat on the back.

"Imagine that." Maxie glared.

"Well, where is this little thing?" Paddy was irrestiable and happy. Katy was clearly shocked. And Maxie had suddenly turned so cold. Katy thought possibly she was living with the wrong brother now.

what about Benji

2010-03-08T03:56:00.001-06:00

Maxie was elated that Katy was practically back to normal now after having the baby. She'd had a few weeks to recover. Gracie was doing great. Of course, Katy was still a bit sad about her cousin's departure to Spain.

She wanted to visit. "I need to be there for him." She told Maxie as they took over the parlor as their own these days.

"Not, anytime soon." Maxie advised. No way, was he going. He didn't dare want to end up in a Spanish prison ever again. "I'm sorry, but he got himself into this, you know, Kate, really we have to let this go."

But she wouldn't. According to her, he was the only family she had left.

"And what of us? What's Gracie and me to you?" Maxi glared at her. He was beginning to think she'd been madly in love with her cousin at one time. What if she was still in love with Benji? He knew Benji had Simon, and Benji had cut off Simon as it was. "I don't think he wants you in his life right now Katy. And wouldn't it be just as well for us to send packages or the like to show him we still care."

She was teary eyed. Gracie was at least a sleep. Maxie could think of plenty they could be doing. He put his arm around Katy. He kissed her cheek. If only they could go for a walk in the park, it didn't have to be in the sexual nature. He wanted to see her happy. He did, but just then the doorbell rang.

"Who could that be?" Her head shot up as if maybe they'd pardon Benji and he was back.

"Dunno." Maxie supposed he'd have to answer it.

away from me

2010-03-04T02:41:00.026-06:00

Sebastian woke up startled. What had just happened? They were far down the road from Hollyoaks. It was almost dark as they past through another glen toward the woods, and Louie was driving way too fast. Sebastian jerked his head around to see his hands were tied up and so were his feet.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Sebastian gave him a mad look as he needed to get out of the situation the best he could, but it was as if his body would do nothing. He felt as if he were buried in cement.

"I have to." Louie would barely look at him. "The farther we get from Hollyoaks, the better."

"But everything I have is back there! Tout ce que je veux. J'aime. Est là!" Sebastian told him.

"Si vous pensez." Louie was very closed lip. "You're tired. Just rest. We'll talk later."

"No, no you let me go. You leave me alone! I don't want you! Je ne veux pas de toi dans ma vie!" This was madness as far as Sebastian was concern.

"You don't understand. You just don't. Its as if I lead you to the lion's den myself. I never should have. I'm sorry. I just thought it was best, but I was wrong." Louie winced. "Just let me tell you everything. Listen to me. Please!"

Sebastian tried his hardest to get out of being tied up, but he hadn't any strength. Had his brother gone mad?

The dark sports car sped on. They were leaving England or at least finding a way to the border.

on the flip side

2010-03-03T02:49:00.014-06:00

Anita hadn't meant to get into it with Sebastian. She hadn't meant to get him trouble. It wasn't like her to rattle him, and she knew it was all her fault. Some days, maybe she was just better off alone. Possibly. Maybe he needed to cool down too. He'd been so upset with his grandfather and Ingrid. Really, he was making so much out of it. Or maybe, he'd rather have his mind on them than the possibility that she might be pregnant again.

All she wanted was to get on with revisions and exams. She wanted to stay focused. He was just being impossible. Of course, it didn't help to look over and see just how devastated Mia was lately. She looked really ill now.

"So how is your brother?" Guy was in jail now for all his drug dealing. Of course, she knew Mia didn't see it that way. She just felt the cops were out to get her family.

"He won't last in there, you know. I have to find a way to get him out." Mia hugged her books. Perhaps she was about to have a relapse of some kind since she was so drug-free at the moment.

"Like how? You want him to escape?" Anita winced as they walked toward to the Commons to study. She was on the outlook to see if Sebastian was back, but he was nowhere.

Mia just nodded.

"Maybe he's going to be a better person when he gets out, Mia." Anita tried to stay positive.

"How can you say that!" Mia scowled. "He's the best. I love my brother. I do."

Anita winced wondering what that exactly meant. The thought of him giving her any drug like candy or was it something entirely different?

"So how are you and Oliver?" Anita wanted to know.

Mia just shrugged as if there was nothing to talk about. It seemed all her thoughts now were on Guy. No one else.

Anita hugged her books too. She wasn't sure if she was ready to reach out to Mia. She wanted to be her friend, but she hated all the extra baggage it carried. Things were different now. Anita was really looking out for herself now, and she didn't need to fall into anything bad with Mia.

getting him back

2010-03-02T02:26:00.016-06:00

Louie knew it would take force to get Sebastian back. It would be a risk, but he thought the farther they were from Hollyoaks..the better it would be. Hopefully, Sebastian would hear him out. He had to know everything.

So when he saw him in the park, alone, he took his chances.

Naturally, Sebastian looked at him as if he didn't even know him. It hurt to see Sebastian's coldness. He was becoming a Dean. Hell, he was one of them now. Not that little boy who loved pasta for breakfast and how many Ninja Turtles he collected.

"Sebastian!"

He wouldn't even turn to him as he walked on in the cold shadowy park. It was cloudy, and it began to snow softly. Almost a spring snow, but it was so cold. Louie reached out for him. Grabbed him.

"You have to come with you," Louie clung on to Sebastian's wrist and put his arm around him.

"NO! Why would I go anywhere with you!" Sebastian fought back. Louie knew it would be this way. He snuffed Sebastian out with a cloth of ether in his pocket. Luckily, it was close to his car. He got him inside the dark glassed car and bounded his feet and hands. He was not letting Sebastian get away. They need to be alone. Louie needed to tell him, everything.

here comes the rain again

2010-03-01T02:13:00.027-06:00

It was necessary. Franny felt at the moment. She was doing this for Sebastian's own good. It wasn't that she wanted to keep him from anything, but she found herself having some long conversations with Louie, lately.

She finally remembered Sebastian, after all this time. It wasn't that she and Louie went way back. She knew him from the park where she used to live. She'd seen Sebastian with him. They used to kick a soccer ball around in the park. And they'd talked. He'd said Sebastian was his brother and he was teaching him. He seemed rather fond of her when he found out Nico's father was a footballer. It wasn't a huge acquaintance by any means, but he'd left her his number in case she needed anything. She'd thought of him to be a good neighbor. Of course, she'd never needed him for anything, but perhaps he needed her.

They had tea at one of the places she never went too. Far from where anybody would know her.

"I can't believe it." Louie was soft spoken. "You remembered me?"

"Its a small world. Well, it wasn't until I got to seeing more of Sebastian. I remembered you. And then, I, uh, well, there had been- I won't say trouble with a girl. I just think it would be best, if he had you, in his life. You were so good with him. How could you let him go?"

"Um, he seemed to want to be here. Know his family." Louie shrugged.

"But you're family too." She told him. "I'm not sure it'll do any good, but, maybe you two could talk."

"Yeah, kick the football around." Louie slightly laughed.

"You know, he's met his grand-papa, I hear." She told him in all seriousness.

"What?" Louie squinted.

"Leo." She then said.

"Leo?" He grimaced. By looks of it, he knew him quite well.

"He might be better off with you, than you know." She found herself saying, knowing, it was a good time for Louie to be here.

could it be true

2010-02-28T01:46:00.019-06:00

"Well, the offer still stands, doesn't it?" Paddy was all smiles. "Just thought I might take my chance, see that brother of mine before its too late, you know."

"Of course," Ian let him in as if he could be good company.

Paddy already knew he could be. After that kiss from another night. Not that he had pushed on from it. He hadn't. He thought it best they get to know each other first. He had had enough one offs to last him a life-time. And who knows, possibly, Ian had had enough of them two. This sort leveled the playing field, perhaps.

Well, Paddy would take a chance, see what this was all about. And if he liked then he might stay for awile.

"Nice." Paddy gave him a nod on the digs. It was a right nice comfort for an old place. Some one had been kind to it with tender loving care. All new appliences. Paddy liked that.

"You know, your brother is just next door." Ian told him.

"Is he?" Paddy grinned. "Well, that's just peachy, isn't it?"

"How long has it been?" Ian winced.

"Years. Its been a bugger of a time, trying to track him down, you know." Paddy just grinned as if a bit longer wouldn't really matter now.

"Then, by all mean, I wouldn't want to keep you from him." Ian's eyes opened wide.

"But I wouldn't mind if you did." And when he stared into Ian's face he knew exactly what Ian thought when he looked at him.

"Oh, but he and his wife have a new baby and, and I believe her name is Gracie."

"Gracie." Paddy crossed his arms. "And his wife might be?"

"Katy." Ian nodded.

Paddy just grinned thinking Ian really didn't like her much, now did he? Paddy just chuckled. It never accured to him until now that his brother just might be a little gay.

great balls of fire

2010-02-27T01:37:00.003-06:00

Anita felt as if her bed alone was her island at the moment. She just wanted to stay in her room. Be with herself. Perhaps. Stay calm. Relax.

And it was all for the best. Trying this out. No sex.

"You said you were OK with it." She reminded Sebastian about how they'd both decided this, but now he was none to happy. It hadn't even been 48 hours, had it?

"Of course, I am." He groaned as if he could be patience. Just not right this second.

"Then stop thinking your grandpa is having sex with cousin." She pursed her lips.

"Argh!" He almost dumped her books on the school hallway. He gave her an awful scowl. "Thanks for bringing that up! You just want me to do be sick! Do ya?"

"Of course not. There are far better things the two of us should be concentrating on! Instead of what that willie of yours wants to do all the time." She scrunched face then.

Sebastian just gasped as he looked around at the faces that looked at the two of them in the hall.

"NITA! Jesus Christ! What the fuck's got in to you!" He gave her a horrified look that she'd done it this time. Not him. Even if he had let the F bomb escape. The campus cop would be coming to get him any second. He was really fuming now. He plopped her books into her hands and raced out of the building as if he might be a fudgitive running from the law.

ready, set...go

2010-02-26T01:11:00.028-06:00

Randy couldn't help but grin all over. It was true. And it made him laugh, splendidly. Franny was going to have a baby.

"What?" Sebastian looked at him at school. "I knew you looked funny, but I didn't know it was that?" Sebastian winced.

"What do you mean, look funny?" Randy squinted back, wondering why he even came across these thresholds, anymore. The majority of his time was down at the hospital. He just came here most morning for such boring academics he'd just about tested out of.

"I dunno. You just do. Like, all happy, and shit, is it all be cause of baby?" Sebastian looked hurt that he couldn't exactly feel the excitement.

"I suppose." Randy shrugged.

"But Franny just had a baby." Sebastian looked as if he might be ill.

"That was months ago." Randy slightly scowled.

"You're not fuck'n bunnies, you know." Sebastian was taking it, so miserable. Randy didn't quite get his mood.

"What is your point?" Randy thought this conversation was dragging a bit too long.

"I'm just saying, you have two to worry about as it it, and you're excited about another on the way." Sebastian glared back at him.

"Well, its mine." Randy was ready for a shoving match with him if he didn't cool it.

"Right. Of course." Sebastian was suddenly closed lip then as he started to go to class. "Well, good for you, Randy, good for you."

"Right, good for me." Randy nodded, all happily.

"Well, stop smiling so much, will you, mate." Sebastian looked back at him. "Not everyone wants to know your business."

"Whats got you in such a pisser?" Randy wanted to know.

"For starters, my grandpa has moved in with that sweet cousin of mine, and Anita's decided we should go on Lent for the next 40 days or so."

"Well, won't you get something special at the end?" Randy reminded him.

"Yeah, sex, until then its a real shame to even look at each other, evidently." Sebastian sighed and slammed his fist in to a locker then.

Randy just smiled. He was going to be a dad.

everyone needs a helping hand, sometimes

2010-02-25T01:27:00.021-06:00

"So you know my brother?" Paddy's question came clearly to Ian a few days later. He was sober, sort of at the time they talked.

"I haven't seen Maxxie in ages. My little brother. I just thought he was off, smooching off some high society bird, and he didn't have time for me." Paddy had told him.

Ian said he never knew Maxxie had a brother.

"Well, we don't see each other much. I took care of mum. He took care of Dad. We just never spent the holidays together, much after the divorce. Mum and Dad split us up. Then I hear, he's not even with Dad. Fell in with the wrong crowd, you know, I just never got around to looking him up. Mum never liked me to mention him. And you know, after awhile, well, you just go with the flow."

Naturally, Ian invited him back. Told him he had a place he could stay if he wanted to come to the village. But Ian never thought Paddy would take him up on the offer. Wasn't like they had a one off or anything. Just a chat. Played some pool, sang songs with old men at the bar. Yeah, a real winning night Ian would soon for get. He ended up sleeping in Shou's car that night alone.

And now Joey had showed up on Ian's door-step.

"I'm here to take you up on that offer." Paddy was all grins.

Ian just wished Paddy didn't look so much like Maxxie. It wasn't going to be easy having him around.

poker face

2010-02-24T01:58:00.026-06:00

I wanna hold em'
like they do in Texas Plays Fold em'
let em' hit me
raise it baby
stay with me
(I love it)
Luck and intuition
play the cards
with Spades to start
And after
he's been hooked
I'll play the one
that's on his heart
-Lady GaGa

Well, it was a start. Ingrid supposed. If Leo wasn't a millionaire, at least he could teach her something.

Poker.

"I could show you the game." Leo almost smiled about it. He gave her a sly look.

"You really think I'd be good at it?" She wanted to know.

"Depends." Leo shrugged. "Its all in the eyes."

Leo dealt the cards then there at the kitchen table at Cecil's, minus the Cecil since he was still in London. As it was, Ingrid was a bit distressed. He hadn't exactly called her, lately. But right now she had to focus on the cards. She had no idea was a royal flush was or even what a bad hand looked like.

"Just relax." Leo told her. "Relax. Don't let me know what you've got."

She tried to smile and focus. Really, she was a bad poker player. She was. After all, she didn't even know if she was going or coming.

"You're sure you're up for this?" Leo looked at her.

"Yes, most definitely." She would muster up her poker face, some how. "What am I suppose to do?" She found a pair of twos.

"Definitely, not play, go fish, my dear." He laughed softly.

"Oh." She still hadn't a clue what was going on.

its settled

2010-02-23T04:04:00.015-06:00

"Do you think we should have followed him?" Monty asked a while after Ian left. He hadn't called as of yet.

"We've no business being on the road, mate." Fletch grinned. After all, they were getting high. They had the house to themselves, even if they were in Monty's room smoking.

"You're right." Monty smiled. "We've no business on the road."

It wasn't long... they were putting smoke into each others mouths. Kissing. Having a good time.

"You know, I can hardly feel her, anymore." Monty winced.

"Feel who?" Fletch squinted.

"Gemma." He croaked.

"Oh yeah." Fletch laughed in a daze. "She was fun. Quite fun."

"Fucking fun." Now he had Monty laughing. "It was best, family ever had, in fact."

"A family?" Fletch questioned.

"I think." Monty nodded, all philosophical. "I never really had one. Been in an orphanage, all my life."

"Really?" Fletch looked at Monty. They were in bed.

"A real shame, we can't all be together." Monty was serious.

"Well, I'm here for you, mate." Fletch smiled.

"Yeah, you're here for me. But will Gemma ever really be there for anyone?" Monty squinted. He took in the cigarette as if he was in love with it. There wasn't a thought in his head. Least of all, a thought about Gemma. He was feeling disgustingly happy now.

what goes around comes around

2010-02-22T03:37:00.011-06:00

When Ian learned about where the life of the band hanged now with Cecil and Rob, he thought he might need to go on a bender.

"Well, we could come with you," Fletch nodded, looking at Monty. They would do what ever it took to take care of Ian.

"There is nothing you can do for me!" Ian seethed. He had to get out of the house before he went into a rage and tore the place up. After all, Shou wasn't around. He felt so hopeless. Would this band ever make a bit of cash? Certainly, not with the Rob factor going on. He'd clearly done nothing for them, but tying them up in contracts. It so sucked.

"Just trying to be a mate." Fletch winced. Ian didn't stay around to listen to anyone. He was on his way. Somewhere. But he didn't want to go to the Black Cat. Couldn't stand to see their faces now. He just wanted something different. He wanted something to change. It was the same old shit. Day in. Day out. He had a mind to do himself in. But first a drink might help. Might let him see things more clearly. Or he'd want to be good intoxicated, before he took a jump off the bridge.

He got in Shou's little sport's car and took off. He'd go into Chester. He so needed a change. Damn, he wasn't going into one of those gay clubs. No, he just needed a drink. Clear his mind, and hope to hell, he changed his mind about drowning himself.

So he pulled in to one of the easier places to park and strolled right in to the darkest bar he could fine.

"Whiskey!" He called for. "Irish whiskey." Soon enough he was burning his insides after three drinks. Of course, nothing was a whole lot clearer. Except when he winced at the bloke at the pool table, he thought he'd found someone he knew. He looked just like he remembered. It was uncanny. But what in the hell was he doing here. Didn't he have a baby and wife at home that he was looking after.

"Maxie!" He called for him, but the bloke didn't pay much attention to him. He was a serious player. Evidently. He pocketed the cash he just won and moved closer to Ian to take a look.

"Could you use a drink, mate?" He smiled at Ian.

"Yeah, I really could." Ian squinted hard. His words slightly slurred. They went back to the bar then.

"Get ahold of yourself, mate." The bloke smirked.

"Maxie, what the fuck are you doing here?" Ian did his best to get on the stool next to him.

"Now that's a name I haven't heard in a while." The bloke put the cigarette in the corner of his mouth, but he didn't light up.

"Maxie, are you a nutter of some kind, now?" Ian was serious.

The bloke had a good laugh then as he grabbed the bottle of spiced rum he'd bought and filled Ian's glass then his own.

"You're the right nutter." The bloke told him. "Me, name's Paddy, all right. Got it? I'm not Maxie. Its Paddy." Paddy's eyes met Ian's. It was as if they were locked. All Ian could think of was Maxie and how much he missed him. It had been so long. It was making Ian misty eyed. When Paddy put his cigarette down, ready to drink. Ian had other plans. He kissed the bloke whole heartedly.

one thing leads to another....maybe

2010-02-21T02:46:00.036-06:00

"Whats he gone and done this time?" Colin asked as soon as she got off the phone. He had her herbal tea waiting for her as well as a blueberry scone.

"I'm afraid you don't want to know," Kelsy looked at Colin as the corner of her lips twitched. He knew she could hardly wait to tell him the gossip. "Looks as if things might be on the rocks with he and Ingrid."

"Are you proud of yourself now?" Colin smirked.

"Proud of myself!" Now he'd really roused her up. "I had nothing to do with this Col, nothing to do with it at all"

"I bet." Colin rolled his eyes as he went to tend to Nancy. Kelsy had woke her up.

"No, I hadn't done a thing." Kelsy was right behind him as he picked up the bare headed little infant. "It seems, Cecil ran into an old friend of our mother's. He spent the night her, in fact. I think he might be good as settled in London now. Don't know if we'll ever get that slapper out of his place now. Probably thinks she owns it!"

"Oh, Kelsy, looks like those two deserve each other. Don't you dare bother with her, here me? We don't need bad karma going on." He glared back at her.

"Who said a thing about bad karma?" Kelsy stared at him sternly.

"Just leave it alone. It'll work its self out, soon enough, hear me?" Colin gritted. They'd never really argued much. He did what ever he could, to please her, but this was a different matter entirely. It was best to stay out of their relatives business. Not that he was directly related to Ingrid, but his half-brother Sebastian was, who had to keep referring to as his nephew. Really, it felt as he'd already gone above the call of duty.

Fortunately, before Kelsy could give him anymore lip about it, someone was at the door. Jamie and Sebastian.

"Well, this is a surprise," Kelsy grinned.

"Is it?" Jamie sort of laughed, but Sebastian was his serious self. "I thought I'd pass on a little information, we just learned."

"Gramps gone crazy, I think he needs to be in a hospital." Sebastian told Colin.

"Hold on." Jamie looked at Sebastian. He grabbed his arm before Sebastian could go crazy with the news. "He hasn't lost all his marbles, as of yet."

Colin just grinned. "This should be good. What did he do this time?"

"It seems he's found some one new to fancy." Jamie scrunched a silly face.

"What? Someone in the circus, limber, I suppose." Colin looked at both them. He knew his Dad quite well.

"Ingrid." Sebastian gave Colin a serious sour look, as if she'd be the death of the family.

"Ingrid? Did you hear that, Kel?" He looked back at Kelsy who was stuffing the scone down as if she hadn't eaten all day, when in fact she'd had lunch barely two hours ago.

"What?" She said with food in her mouth.

"Dad's fancying that bird of Cecil's." Colin shrugged.

Kelsy glared at Jamie.

"Well, what's going on?" Colin winced.

"It seems he wants to take her under his wing, for a bit." Jamie gave Colin a silly smirk.

"He's moved into Cecil's flat." Sebastian looked quite upset.

This made Kelsy move.

"Don't you think about going over there." Colin grabbed her arm. "Just leave it alone, will you. Leave it alone."

"Its disgusting." Sebastian swelled a frown.

"See, what I'm up against?" Jamie grinned crossing his arms.

"Really, you two, it won't do a bit of good." Colin told Sebastian and Kelsy. "Dad always does as he pleases."

someone elses fortune

2010-02-20T03:03:00.029-06:00

"You did what?" Kelsy screamed in the phone when Cecil told her he wasn't coming back, anytime soon. Something about being with their mother's best friend, Neve. "OH NO, YOU DIDN'T!"

Kelsy was stunned. She'd always had her brother to count on. Nothing ever happened to him. Usually, not so successfully in love, as the case maybe. This really sent her into orbit. "She what? She wants to have your baby!" Was Kelsy listening to him correctly. "Are you completely, a nutter!"

What the fuck was going on in this village? She'd never heard such in her life. Who in their right mind would want his baby to begin with? Then again, maybe she was the superficial one, not Neve or her brother. She had to settle down. She knew Colin would tell her so, even if he wasn't here to tell her right now.

"I don't believe it." She had to sit down. "Well, does Ingrid know what you're up too? I thought you were head over heels with that lass?"

"You know, you never liked her. Said she rubbed you the wrong way." Cecil mentioned.

"Its not like she's a lesbian." Kelsy found herself saying. "Don't you know what Neve is?"

"What?" Well, it was about time he got his bubble burst. Kelsy grinned. She didn't know if were true, but her mum was awful close to that woman. Kelsy had a feeling if Neve had ever had the power she would have married her Mum when her dad left. She stuck to her like glue. Had Cecil forgotten that little tidbit?

"You better talk to her about her intentions." Kelsy then squinted.

"Intentions? We shagged every room in the house. And, and well, that was just on the first day." He told her.

"Lucky you." Kelsy wasn't going to ask if it were any good, evidently, it must have been. He was still there. "So what about Ingrid?"

"Could you talk to her?" Cecil begged.

"No, you whimpy arse. I won't do your dirty work for you." Kelsy snarled then.

"Just won't hate me, now will you?" He groaned.

"No, you big ninny. I don't hate you. Just wish you'd settle down and be a good man, like you are." Kelsy told him.

"Its just," He sounded so restless then. "I don't want to be hurt, anymore. I should have never let Ingrid come between Franny than me. She was amaz'n, and I gave her up. I dunno when I have good thing, anymore. Its crazy. But I feel safe with Neve, I do. And, well, she really wants a kid before its too late. Says her bilogical time clock is ticking."

"What will you do if it goes off when she has that babe of yours that she wants so terribly." Kelsy warned him.

"Don't talk that way, sis." She heard Cecil sniffing then.

"God, you're just daft, you know that," Kelsy sighed. "But I love you, anyway."

over the rainbow

2010-02-19T02:24:00.035-06:00

"Not that I want to be testy about it, but is it really what you want?" Sebastian looked at Anita who was keeping quiet about this possibility as she had her head in a book.

She didn't want to think about it. A baby. True, she'd just gotten over a miscarriage. And it wasn't that they were trying. They weren't. They really weren't.

"I'm a little frighten. I'm not certain, it'll last long if it is possible." Yes, that was just the answer she needed about everything in her life these days. Her mum wouldn't talk to her. She was barely in contact with her brothers. And her sister had moved to Paris. Not that she'd need them. She guessed. As it was, Sebastian seemed all the family who wanted her and well, whatever may come, would come. She guessed.

"Lets not get discouraged, shall we." He plopped himself right down on the bed next to her.

"What are you talking about?" She winced then, looking at him. "More sex?"

"Hahahaaa, maybe." He acted as if that might give them something to do. "I mean, no. Of course not." But he kissed her then, confusing her all the more.

"My gramp is having an affair." He looked at her wide eyed as if she needed to carry this burden he was carrying.

"OK, he's not getting any younger, you know." She almost laughed.

"But with Ingrid." His look of disgust, made her laugh for real now.

"What is it that you hate so much about Ingrid?" She was curious.

"I dunno." He looked indifferent then.

"You do know." She kept her eyes on him.

"All right, she, she. I did something with her." He sighed.

"When?"

"Over the summer." He shrugged.

"You had sex with your cousin?" Anita winced.

"Not exactly." He made a face as if he wished she didn't know. "It was in the ..." He sighed heavily. "Oral nature." He made it sound as if their cousin had visted from a freaky kingdom, instead.

"Oh." She wanted to get back to her book. "So how was it?"

"I would rather not say." He looked away. "I was a bit high at the time. I don't like her, Anita. I don't. And..and if she could do that me. Lord knows what she's done to gramp." Now he really looked disgusted.

"Don't go there." She scowled then.

"I'm sorry." Sebastian shut his eyes tight. "I do love you. I do. And you do mean so much to me. You're like this adventure that I have no idea what the outcome might be. And I don't care. I just want to be with you in everything, good or bad. Its just, you know, do some people ever get that in their life? Like Gramp or Ingrid."

Anita just smiled and held his hand.

"We might never know." She sighed.

in a stew

2010-02-18T02:15:00.018-06:00

Well, the clock was ticking.

Sebastian suppose it could have ended with a morning after pill, but it didn't. They were going to wait it out. See if there was news that Anita might be pregnant, again. Surlly not. He kept telling himself. It couldn't be true. Wouldn't be. But if it was. Well, it was for the best.

He had it all planned out what to say, and then he got the news about Grandpa Leo.

"He what?" Sebastian was stunned. Shocked. Suddenly, it wasn't so terrible what news they heard about Anita and their dilimma.

"Well, you have to get him away from her, right now!" Sebastian demanded when his father told him that his gramp hadn't came home. He told him he'd stayed over at Ingrid's.

"What on earth for!" Sebastian scowled.

"Well, he didn't really say." Jamie evidently thought it was funny.

"Oh, I'm sure they, at best played chess all night long!" Sebastian was in a tizzy, just the same. Jamie choked on his coffee he was trying to drink.

"Chest more like it." He could barely bite his tongue.

"Good God! No!" Sebastian gritted putting his fingers in his ear.

"Well, you have been far more worried than any of us. I'd be more worried about some other possibility that has more to do you with you and Anita." Jamie assured him.

"Don't shove it to me like that, we have no idea, as if it could possibly happen, again." Sebastian wish he'd just hush on the pregnancy scare.

"I think its destiny." Jamie lightly smiled.

"Oh, do you?" Sebastian hugged himself then as he looked at the pastries, but he couldn't eat at a time like this. Sebastian could feel his insides shaking. He didn't know what bothered him most. Gramp with Ingrid or the chance of the reality of being a teenage father.

a bit lost

2010-02-17T01:22:00.031-06:00

This would be hard for Cecil to explain. How he woke up with someone new in London.

He'd just about lost it with this Robbie Mack guy. Honestly, Cecil had to wonder if it was worth getting mixed up in this music maker's practices. As it was, he hadn't seen Gemma, yet, and really the trip was a lost cause, as he thought about it now.

Except, for meeting up with an old friend of his mother's. It was quite a shock, actually. She was the last person he expected to find at a club that he'd gone off to, after his little angry meeting with Rob who wasn't just being stuck with what to do with Ian and the band. He said he just couldn't make it work. And now they were in a fix. He wouldn't let anyone else produce their music, either. A technicality. They had a contract. It was so unfair. How was that even possible?

So he was a bit pissed. He felt down on is luck. He was in London. Ingrid was back home. And here this person was that knew exactly who he was.

"I haven't seen you since, what? Elementary?" She was all smiles. And the way her eyes lit up, it made Cecil smile, too. She brought up sweet memories. How his mother was, but still so much a mystery to him. He felt as if he'd never known her at all. They had a few lagers. Before he knew it, they were back at Nave's place. Possibly, drunk on stupidity, but none the less, he forgot she was completely his mother's friend. Evidently, she'd forgotten his past too. No one was talking about childhood memories, now. He'd spent the night and woke up with a hangover.

Luckily, the last place they shagged was the bed. Otherwise, he could have woke up on the kitchen floor.

"I know what you need." Nave informed him. "Green tea and lots of fruit to cleanse yourself."

He had no intention of doing anything else with her. But he was very well lost in London now. There were definitely not enought strawberries nor blueberries to do the trick. His head throbbed, and he felt ill. Completely.

"Its a good thing I'm here so I can take care of you." Nave assured him. She was definitely not giving up on the idea.

fortunately possible

2010-02-16T02:16:00.020-06:00

Ingrid couldn't be happier. Cecil had been called away to London. Something about his cousin, or little sister or something. He was gone and there was no one on Valentines day for her.

As it was, she'd been intrigued by Leo's kindness. She felt so warm and giddy around him. Could have been the alcohol. Seriously, she didn't think that was it, completely. She loved his voice. His unusual eyes that might have put anyone else off, but her.

He was mesmerizing, and she didn't see an old man when she looked into his face. His hands were still gentle, and there was something so tender about him. Something she missed so much of. And the fact that he might possibly be rich. She hoped. She really needed someone with a shit-load of cash. As sad as it was, no one wanted her art. And she was never really a student of the academics. Just one of human nature, and she felt so with Leo.

He drew her in with so much he knew about the galleries and the museums. Truly, a classic that she couldn't forget. So she was happy when he took her up on her offer to come over. She'd kissed him with delight right away. But they'd spent a good portion of the evening, drinking red wine and listening to his stories about places he'd been around the world.

Soon enough, they were exploring each other. Or perhaps, letting him explore her. At first, she wanted him to see what she had to offer. It was so different, yet cozy and dreamy. He was quite good in bed and it wasn't even intercourse.

Perhaps two men could satisfy her, after all.

unfortunately, yes

2010-02-15T02:05:00.003-06:00

"What do you think, could be up?" Sebastian's questions kept coming to Jamie as he was trying his best to make breakfast in bed for Sasha. He had the chocolate covered strawberries. The champagne.

Jamie almost laughed at Sebastian's concern.

"He is your grandfather, you know, he can very well take care of himself. He has for many a year now, with out any of our help." Jamie shrugged as he buttered toast and slid the fried egg on top of the hash-browns.

"Doesn't this bother you." Sebastian winced as he got cups of coffee for he and Anita. He was helping himself to some muffins that Maxie had left.

"Sebastian, I'm sure he's fine. Really." Jamie sighed.

"I have this feeling, he's not. You know." Sebastian told him.

"A feeling? You have a feeling?" This was a bit of a shock to Jamie. What else did he have odd feelings about? "Well, stop it, will you. He's not worth getting so, so emotional over, really."

"But I love Gramps. I do. I'd hate for something awful to happen. We just met, you know." Sebastian scowled.

"I'm afraid your grandfather is up to his old tricks."

"Old tricks?" Sebastian stopped with the sugar then in Anita's cup.

"Yes, he loves a good game of poker. I'm sure he's off winning a hand, somewhere, as we speak and has lost track of time." Jamie told him.

"A gambler?" Sebastian looked as if Jamie had let him down.

"Sorry, the man is human, and well, average at that. He doesn't always win. He doesn't always do the right thing." Jamie looked at Sebastian and wished he could tell him exactly who the old man really was. He was the one who'd sent Sebastian away in the first place. It was just... it was forgotten. And it was best to keep it that way.

Sebastian just glared back with a soured look. He got the cups of coffee and the muffins.

"Do you need help with that?" Jamie offered. Sebastian shook his head, no.

not quite a good feeling

2010-02-14T01:47:00.023-06:00

Sebastian woke up with a bad feeling. He couldn't quite say what it was, but it was Valentines day, for goodness sakes. Cupid's day, in fact. And they were set to go in for the appointment on birth control.

Maybe that was it. What a drab day for such an event. They should be celebrating, a nice dinner maybe a movie. Some jewelry. At least flowers. All these things he had put off doing. Yes, he knew it was his fault that Anita would have a miserable day.

"Are you absolutely, sure that's it?" Anita looked at him puzzled.

"No, not really." He was a procrastinator, after all. He was a last minute bloke on these sort of occasions. "I dunno."

Well, she kissed him and that really set things in motion. A different outcome, entirely. Did she really know what she wanted? Really? He wasn't going to ask, but take her up on the offer. He kissed back as if maybe..maybe was not all lost on Valentines day. Well, at least not for the next 15 minutes or so of passion that could perhaps really be not exactly what the nurse would want to hear when she'd ask what had they been doing. Everything, they weren't suppose to do. Possibly. But it didn't mean much for Sebastian to think about at the moment. And when it was over, Sebastian breathed much easier with a smile on his pillow...until he winced and thought of Gramp Leo. He shot up.

"This has nothing to do with you or me." He dressed quickly.

"Where are you going?" Anita was wrapped up in the covers. "We don't have school today."

"Right, but there's the dance, yeah?" He nodded. "I have to see if Gramp is OK. I have too."

Anita just gave him a bit of a scowl as if he was suppose to be with her, instead. But he pushed into his black high tops and was on his way down the hall.

He beat on the door. "Gramp! Gramp! Are you in there!"

"Jesus, Sebastian, what's the noise for?" Soren came out into the hall from his room then.

"I dunno." Sebastian shrugged. "Did he come home? Do you know?"

"Dunno." Soren shrugged back.

Sebastian winced then, he turned the door knob. It was unlocked. He carefully, opened the door just to see no one was there. No one. The bed not even taken too. It was irrie. Gramp Leo was gone.

you're right back where you started

2010-02-13T02:53:00.036-06:00

Your sword’s grown old and rusty
Burnt beneath the rising sun
It’s locked up like a trophy
Forgetting all the things it’s done

And though it’s been a long time
You’re right back where you started from
I see it in your eyes
That now you’re giving up the gun
-vampire weekend

Ingrid was in a tizzy when she saw Franny. She swore Franny had some sort of power about her. Ingrid could hardly see straight. She backed into a display of melons, and they came tumbling down. She ran, bumping into the shop keeper who looked at her as if she would never be admitted back in this store again.

Ingrid winced in a fret. She couldn't help to start crying. Really, she didn't like for people to hate her. She wanted to be liked. Always had. She felt determained to always please as long as she could remember. Good grades in school. Being the lass all the boys longed for in class. So her grades couldn't be completely good. She had to ask for help. She had to act interested. She had to find a way to get away from her sleepy little village.

And it got to Ingrid.The thought of Franny thinking she'd stole Cecil from her. She wept so then thinking how awful she really was. And then someone gave her a nice crisp white handkerchief to wipe her tears. She looked up to see a very old face. But it was kind, and she didn't find him repulsive in the least. No, there was something gentle and intriguing about him.

"You look as if you could use a good stiff Irish coffee, dearie." He smiled.

She sniffed and nodded. Maybe she could use one. She did hope he was talking about alcohol. The snow began to fall and really, there was no need to be caught in it. They went inside at a near by pub. He ordered them two hot drinks. He introduced himself. He was Leo and he told her it was too cold at the park for a game of chess.

She found him quite the intellectual, yet he made her feel smart. And Ingrid hadn't felt that way in a very long time. He mentioned how much he liked her coat. How she wore her hair. It was all so endearing. She felt like a sponge just waiting to absorb every word he said to her. And when the drinks came, she felt all the more warm and cozy with him. It was as if they'd left all her worries behind. They'd moved on to some other sort of world. Why did it have to end so soon?

"Maybe I'll see you again." Ingrid smiled. "Lets keep in touch."

Leo just smiled. He didn't say he wouldn't. Ingrid had a idea it would be soon.

engagement chicken

2010-02-12T02:36:00.024-06:00

Franny was imaging a feast for her and Randy for Valentines day. First there would be fresh lobster to dip in butter. Lots of fresh veggies to steam and of course chocolate dipped strawberries. It was the chocolate she was concerned about. She wanted a rich dark chocolate.

It gave her a smile as she looked in the shops for her favorite chocolate. Of course, she looked up just in time to see Ingrid staring at her. Franny said nothing. It was best to remain strangers. Naturally, she wondered what the whore would be serving Cecil. Perhaps it would be engagement chicken in hopes of seducing him into proposing. Was that what she was after with Cecil? Perhaps Ingrid would have exciting news for him. Telling him she was pregnant.

Franny fumed at the thought. She so hated the thought of someone else having Cecil's child. Ingrid was not good enough for him. Franny had decided. She didn't want to, but it was so clear to her. She wished Ingrid would go away. She was not who she would choose for Cecil. And to think she did her best to always welcome others from her country. Didn't matter with Franny. Ingrid could have said the sweetest things to her in French, and she would not have believed her. She truly imagined Ingrid was up to no good. She couldn't possibly be any help to Cecil.

Suddenly, Franny felt it was a pleasure to hate Ingrid. She would never like her. Never.

Engagement Chicken

•1 whole chicken (approx. 3 lb.)
•2 medium lemons
•Fresh lemon juice (1/2 cup)
•Kosher or sea salt
•Ground black pepper

Place rack in upper third of oven and preheat to 400 degrees. Wash chicken inside and out with cold water, remove the giblets, then let the chicken drain, cavity down, in a colander until it reaches room temp (about 15 minutes). Pat dry with paper towels. Pour lemon juice all over the chicken (inside and outside). Season with salt and pepper. Prick the whole lemons three times with a fork and place deep inside the cavity. (Tip: If lemons are hard, roll on countertop with your palm to get juices flowing.) Place the bird breast-side down on a rack in a roasting pan, lower heat to 350 degrees and bake uncovered for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and turn it breast-side up (use wooden spoons!); return it to oven for 35 minutes more. Test for doneness—a meat thermometer inserted in the thigh should read 180 degrees, or juices should run clear when chicken is pricked with a fork. Continue baking if necessary. Let chicken cool for a few minutes before carving. Serve with juices.
*a recipe from Glamour that could be found in their magazine over two decades ago.

old as the hills

2010-02-11T02:24:00.017-06:00

Jamie was beginning to think perhaps his father had turned over a new leaf completely, these days. Honestly, what was really going on with his father and Quentin? He didn't want to come out and ask, but he was beginning to think it migh be sexual.

"I'm glad you're making friends and all, Dad, but Quentin is here all the time." Jamie pointed out.

"So," Leo shrugged. "We play a great deal of chess."

"Is that all you're doing?" Jamie did his best to leave private matters to his Dad.

"And some poker." Leo seemed pleasant enough about it.

"Poker?" This would have to do with gambling. Jamie sighed. It was after all his Dad's downfall. He supposed. "Are you taking his money, Dad?"

He only smiled at Jamie as if it were just a joke.

"We have our investments." Leo assured him.

"Investments?" Jamie glared. It was even worse than he thought. "You wouldn't?" They'd run his Dad out of town yet. "You behav'n, yourself?" Jamie winced.

"Why of course." Leo was so solemn about it as he straightened out the paper to read on the kitchen table then.

"Dad? Promise me you won't lose everything. Promise?" Jamie was a bit worried now. This is what he'd came for. A quick fix in his financial life. He didn't give shit about any of them.

"What's there to promise? I'm an old fart. I mean, no one any harm." He smiled then as he went back to reading. Jamie wished he could believe him.

just a dinner date

2010-02-10T02:13:00.018-06:00

Sebastian made a face when he saw that his cousin Ingrid was calling. She was asking him and Anita to dinner. She was the last person he wanted to see. Really, he needed an excuse not to go.

"We're going." Anita informed him.

"Must we?" Sebastian was quite soured on the thought. "It'll be awful. I know it will. I don't think cooking is one of her skills."

"I'm afraid to ask what her skills are." Anita pursed her lips as she was on her lap-top downloading music.

"You'd rather not know." Sebastian shook his head. "I give this with Cecil a couple weeks or so. She'll be done with him. She'll move on." Sebastian really didn't have much faith in Ingrid's relationships. She was rather peculiar in her courtships.

"Who do you think she might find?" Anita was curious.

"Hopefully, no one I know." Sebastian hugged himself.

"Maybe she's changed." Anita slightly smiled.

"Highly unlikely. She thinks rather highly of herself and what she accomplishes." Sebastian told her.

"Like what?" Anita wanted to know.

"I dunno. She likes to travel. She likes money. She likes pretty things. But suddenly, she's gone grunge, you know. Dunno what its about Cecil that attracted her so. Perhaps he's good in bed." Sebastian smirked.

"Or the tattoos." Anita shrugged.

"Well, she hasn't gotten one, now has she?" Sebastian looked at her blankly as if perhaps Ingrid would never commit herself to Cecil, completely.

"Cecil really has enough for the both of them." Anita told him. Sebastian shook his head. He could never see his cousin getting a tatttoo.

even so

2010-02-09T02:01:00.012-06:00

Kelsy, decided to put Ingrid on the spot. Just what was she up to with her brother.

"Why so protective?" Ingrid looked hurt with her questions, but she'd been cordial enough to serve her tea and biscuits when she came over.

"What? He's my brother. He's been hurt, and you fixed it so he'd walk right out of the best thing in his life, Franny." Kelsy was cold. She couldn't help but be a little warey of her. "Do you plan to marry him?"

"He hasn't asked." She did her best to look so innocent there in Franny's old kitchn. Kelsey didn't buy it.

"He's not worth much, you know." Kelsy laid it out for her. "He's barely making ends meet as it is with this passion of his. Can you make do with someone of the like? Hmmm?"

Well, that set Ingrid into almost spilling tea in Kelsy's lap. Kelsy just smiled.

"Figured as much. You want a sugar-daddy to take care of you. Is that it?" Kelsy glared at Ingrid as if she better come clean.

"No, of course not. I love Cecil. I do." She winced then. "I will stick by him. He's my man, no?" She threw in a little French for good measure, Kelsy supposed. She sat there listening to the slapper with her arms crossed. She really didn't like Ingrid.

Perhaps she saw a little of herself in the girl. Kelsy thought she would have never stooped so low as to stealing someone's man like Ingrid had. But Kelsy drank her tea and ate at the treats. She would try not to hate her. It would take so much out of her to try her best to get to know her, but she felt she had too for her brother's sake.

maybe so

2010-02-08T15:20:00.024-06:00

When Jamie saw Rhys there on the street, he thought perhaps he'd lost everything he had had in an instance, but as it was. It was nothing. Nothing at all. Just Rhys being a blithering idiot. Perhaps Rhys knew he'd taken something away from him, but he didn't know what.

A pitiful sight. Granted it was the accident that started it. Jamie had nothing to do with that. He'd just made a thought transition possible for Sasha. But of course, Rhys had to tangle the web of deciet with his other transgressions, with Franny. It could go on and on. He supposed. Oh, Rhys would remember someone, just not Sasha or Franny.

Honestly, as Jamie glared at him, he didn't want Rhys to have such a pitiful life. He wasn't out to destroy him. He just wanted things better for Sasha. She deserved better. He always knew that. Always. And that's what remained.

Just what could he do for the prick now. Really? Couldn't Rhys find his own wretched world to play in. Be just who he was. Have a laugh there, and here. But the village couldn't quite forget about how he'd ran away with his half sister. That had not ended well.

Jamie would let that fade into everyones thoughts. It was the least he could do. Be gone. He thought. Be gone. Maybe, Rhys' luck would change. Rhys had almost been a good man once, Maybe he would be soon. Maybe.

so very

2010-02-07T02:40:00.026-06:00

If only he could remember her name. He couldn't keep the names from slipping away. If only. Rhys thought he might have a head ache from trying to keep it straight in his head. This Franny. He knew for sure she was important to him. He just knew it. But how?

He was quite an imbecile as of late. Just nothing. Nothing came and went. Everything drifted by without him. He knew his mum was losing the effort to try with him anymore. He had a brother, but he could have been older or younger. Well, he was someone. One day, he'd wake up thinking he knew quite everything, and then he didn't.

It was so puzzling and dreadful. He watched a lot of television. But it didn't mean much to him. Really, was this what it was like when you became a very old fart and forgot your friend? Well, he was a young fart, and the only thing he seemed to be good at these days was drinking and getting into fights.

Well, the lasses seemed to like his silly grin. And they'd do things with him. It could be a bit giddy if he let it. At least he wasn't the village idiot yet, but close.

And then he saw someone in the street, and he knew he hated him. Hated him completely, but he didn't know why. Couldn't possibly know why. If only he could.

"WHO ARE YOU!" Instantly, Rhys wanted to tackle the tall dark brooding man and fight him to the death. But the man just looked at him as if he saw nothing. Rhys was invisible to him.

"I'm talking to you! Aye!" He wanted to know his arch nemesis. He wanted to know what it would take to find out what this man had taken from him. He wanted to know. Now. He grabbed the man's leather coat.

"What are you pandering?" He handed him a quid.

"A name. I need a name." Rhys pleaded.

"It won't do you much good, now will it?" It was as if the man knew him quite well. He stared into Rhys' face as if he was a pathetic man. Completely stupid. "Jamie Dean." The man gave him an ominous stare.

"What?" Rhys looked at him cross.

"Try to hang on to it, will you?" Jamie slightly smiled.

Rhys winced harder.

"The quid." He smiled smartly. "Maybe it'll bring you luck." Jamie went on into the crowd toward the shops. Soon he faded. The name. But Rhys remembered his face very well. So very well.

the bitter pill

2010-02-06T02:22:00.030-06:00

Franny thought she heard a distant laughter in the street. What could it ever be? Rhys of course, drunk as a skunk.

"I remember you!" He was quite daft and possible on more than just booze. Franny gave him an odd look that he'd just as well get out of her sight for she saw right through him. Naturally, there was Bart in her arms. He would never know his father. She was certain of it. It wasn't that she hadn't tried. It was just not feasable, evidently.

"What's going on?" She'd met up with Randy who had just taken an exam to get him into the system at the hospital. He'd be a nurse's assistant soon. They were going to celebrate.

"Nothing."

"Do yo know him?" He asked.

"Used too." She really wanted to leave it at that, but felt she had to come clean. No spiderwebs would be left in the attic of her past if she and Randy were going to make a go of it. "Bart's father, all right."

"Oh." They walked on. "Wasn't he hit by a bus or something?"

"Or something." For all she knew. "He chooses to forget." She sounded dull about it. There was no news in talking about it.

They went into the Black Cat then. Nico had stayed with Sasha and Leia. They were making cookies. They would have dinner and hopefully, Bart would not be too fussy.

Of course, Rhys had followed them in. He was not finished with their conversation. Naturally, Franny didn't even know they were having one.

"Hey, I know, I know you, who are you!" Rhys demanded.

"Nobody worth remembering." She bit an angry smile. She'd had enough of him.

"You were at the hospital, weren't you?" Rhys smiled.

"Yes," she nodded. So thats what this was about. "I work there."

"I haven't seen you in while," he said so child-like, and she felt sad she'd been bitter with him.

"I guess you are staying well?" She looked at him then as if she was just a nurse.

"Yeah." He smiled. "Is this your little one?" He wanted to know.

"Yes, only six months old." She nodded.

"Big lad, indeed." Rhys nodded.

Franny thought she might have a melt down.

"Who's this?" Rhys gave a nod to Randy.

"My, my boyfriend." She quickly said. She thought of making something up, but that was enough.

He shook hands with Randy as if he might be a salesman of some kind.

"Its good to see you." Rhys' smile was faint.

"Glad you're better." Franny kept her smile very small. She supposed this might be a once a year visit. She couldn't think of the next time she might see him.

in a blink of an eye

2010-02-05T02:14:00.015-06:00

There were still pictures of Cecil and Franny. The kids too. It was getting to Ingrid. Wasn't she enough for Cecil? When she moved in, she cleared the house. She thought he'd thrown them away like she'd asked, but he hadn't. She wanted to burn them.

"Why?" Cecil winced at that idea. "Is it bad luck?"

"You tell me?" She thought so. Having his past still tucked away in a closet. "You might think of going back to her, no?" She couldn't have a thought of that. Now could she?

"Really, it isn't hurting a thing." Cecil begged to differ.

"Its not like you were their father, or anything, you never were." She reminded him.

"Yes, but there was a time." He looked around the livingroom then as he remembered little feet everywhere and it was a kinder time, not a place packed with her punk things of skulls and black Lolita look. He'd been so considerate.

"What? You don't like it?" She gave him a harsh look then as if she might zap him into a mouse if he didn't watch it.

"Of course, I love what you've done to the place." He looked at the huge abstract Heart on red canvess. "I love your art."

"You think its quite simple, don't you?" She was getting testy now.

"No, I don't." He kissed her then as if he didn't mind.

"Good." She supposed she'd have to live with the box in the closet of those old pictures, but she hoped one day to make them disappear.

not just the flavor of the day

2010-02-04T02:51:00.023-06:00

"So what is it about him, really, cousin, that's got you domesticated?" Sebastian finally got around to asking Soren. For once he wasn't chained to that Rupert.

"Well, look at him?" Soren smiled with a shrug.

"The total package, is it?" Sebastian winced. "I've seen you work a party, you could have anyone. Anyone, Soren."

"Yeah." Soren shrugged. "So."

"What did he do to keep you on pause, like this?" Sebastian gave him a glare. They were back at the house and Soren was making sandwiches, for him and Rupert.

"Can't say, what it was, all right." Soren focused on the meal.

"Just like that? You really are in love?" Sebastian glared at him waiting for the truth.

Soren nodded.

"You've let him change you." Sebastian observed.

"Dunno. Can't say I've noticed." Soren looked at him a bit puzzled as he put on more pickles.

"I've noticed. You're different." Sebastian informed him. He went to the fridge for a glass of juice.

"I needed a change." Soren said quietly.

"And what will you do, once it grows old?" Sebastian looked back at him.

"It won't." He sounded so sure of himself. He cut the hoagie sandwich in half then and reached for a bag of crisps.

Soren watched him. He slightly smiled, but he didn't want to admit to Soren that he liked the change in him. At least he felt more comfortable around him now.

about that

2010-02-03T02:42:00.031-06:00

Ian supposed he had plenty time on his hands for Simon. But still, he was committed to Shou. He was. After all, Shou had got the house for him and the others. And besides, there was no one as amazing as Shou. It was just. He wasn't here. It was awful being without him even if their was Skype, and phone calls and the like. Ian felt all of a priest, lately. And it was not easy. It was terrible. He had no idea how hard it might be to stay to true to the one he loved the dearest. It wasn't as much fun as he thought it would be.

As it was, Fletch had Monty who were like two peas in a pod, lately. They neither pined for Gemma while she was away. They had their music and each other. And from all the noise, they were definitely into each other. Not that he was going to ask about it. He was doing his best to keep on top of things with the paperwork and schedules with Cecil and now Robbie Mack, who seemed to have taken what he wanted. Gemma. He didn't give a shit about the rest of them, obviously.

"And I was so sure, he liked you best." Gemma had informed him.

"That's quite all right, I understand." And he did. He was just a musician. Nothing special. He wished Gemma all the luck in London. He hoped it worked out for her. Of course, it left him in a funk of some kind which made him feel sure that all this sadness could muster up into something else if he was to console Simon. He just couldn't bare it.

Luckily, he found Quentin on a bar stool at the Black Cat.

"Aw, I heard about you and John Paul." He didn't want to mention, calling it quits. That would be dreadful to hear. "How you been?"

"I've been better, but I could be worse," Quentin sighed.

"You didn't come back to Hollyoaks just to get John Paul back, did you?" Ian thought he should ask.

"Sorry, no, my family is here." Quentin shrugged.

"Family?" Who were they? Ian was puzzled.

"My sisters. A nephew, too." He nodded.

"Well, that's nice." Ian was relieved about that.

Just then Simon popped down for a drink with Ian who greeted him with a smile.

"Oh, look at the time." of course, Ian had to get out his cell just to check. "Have you met Quentin?" Ian just smiled and left it at that. Something had come up. Really, he hadn't the heart to be there completely for Simon. Maybe he'd never know just what a prat he was for a mate.

that time

2010-02-02T02:28:00.023-06:00

"What?" Maxie didn't want to talk about Simon. Yes, he knew he was in a bad way. Which was precisely why he shouldn't console him.

Maxie thought of how Simon had been there for him when he didn't know where Katy was and how he'd ended up in jail in Barcelona. He couldn't let that happen again. Granted, they were drunk, and he'd been so happy to see someone from home. And it was a one off. He had to keep it that way. Never again. He best keep his distance with Simon. No telling, what could possibly happen if they got together. He couldn't do that to Katy. He wouldn't so he decided to find Ian.

"What could I do?" Ian wasn't that happy to see him either. Shou was still away. He was perhaps at his wits end. Ian didn't say it, but Maxie could tell he'd gone a long time without any sex. Of course, he wouldn't dare say that was the reason why he'd be no help to Simon but Maxie had a feeling he knew. "I'm not good at any this."

"Yes, you are. You're the best when it comes to being a mate." Maxie told him. "You and Simon go way back."

"No, its you and Simon who go a way back." Ian reminded him.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Maxie winced. Did Ian know something had happened between he and Simon in Spain?

"You and your sleepless nights, so long ago, remember?" Ian was a bit harsh.

"Don't be daft. He's a mate." Maxie shrugged.

"Then you should go to him." Ian glared at him.

"I can't." He couldn't give him the real reason. What if they slept together again? Maxie couldn't bare it. "I have a family to look out for at the moment. Katy needs me. Gracie, too. You have nothing."

"Uh! How can you say that!" Ian winced. "We are on the verge of something big." He talked of the band then. "Its just they want to work with Gemma first."

"Oh really, well, then plenty of time for you spend with Simon." Maxie looked at him sternly.

"I can't do quantity." Ian looked at him seriously.

"Naturally," Maxie slightly smile. "Its always quality with you, anyway." Maxie bit his bottom lip, thinking he might have been talking about sex then. He didn't mean too. He just hoped Ian would be there for Simon.

in the thick of it

2010-02-01T02:16:00.012-06:00

It was mess. This thing with Benji and her brother. Katy just couldn't quite come to terms with it, actually.

"Well, the good news is, babe," Maxie kept saying again and again. "They won't be hauling you off to jail." He was all smiles, but Katy couldn't smile about it. Benji was still going to jail. It seemed he'd been on a crime spree at some of the art museums with Warren in Spain. There was a warrant for his arrest. Katy couldn't believe it.

Sweet and kind hearted Benji was an art thief.

"How can that be!" She was stunned. She wouldn't put anything past her brother. Lord knows, just how many he'd put in the river, already, but Benji. "It just can't be." She was full of grief. "I should never ever got him involved. What a loon I've been?"

Maxie could hold her and console her as much as she wanted, but she felt a might guilty that it was her fault that Benji was in jail. He'd had such bliss with Simon and then this to unravel so quickly.

She looked to Jamie to see if he could help. She knew he had a knack to get people to see differently about many things. One minute they didn't like something, send him in and he'd change their minds. Such persuasion in that smile of his, she supposed. Perhaps he could use a magic touch or what ever he did to sway the police into releasing Benji.

"Sorry, I wish I could. But, no, I can't help. I wouldn't touch this one if you paid me to be a millionaire." Jamie just shrugged.

"Poor Benji, what will become of him?" He was going to prison.

"Dunno." And she truly believed him. She just wished she knew what to do for Simon. She thought of Maxie then.

decisions

2010-01-31T03:26:00.019-06:00

Anita watched Katy with her baby. She was nursing. Anita winced. Such excruciating pain, she thought. She couldn't watched.

"What's wrong?" Sasha asked her out in the hallway.

"Nothing?" She winced.

"Did you want to hold the baby?" Sasha had her own she was holding.

Anita shook her head, no.

"Its quite all right to be awkward around them." Sasha assured her.

Anita couldn't think of it.

"Sebastian and I have decided," Anita finally sighed. "I want birth control. I can't think about children right now."

"Its good, you want to do something about it, really." Sasha nodded. "You need to focus on studies, anyway."

Anita nodded.

"Why is birth control so awful? My mother would never discuss it. When we did, immediately, she'd think the worst, you know." Anita hugged herself.

"Well, some believe its just not natural, and you might feel that way once you start it, but at the same time, you're taking control of your body. Its a personal thing." Sasha informed her. "If you want me to come with you, I haven't a problem with it, really."

Anita just nodded. She knew Sasha would be on her side, no matter what.

not quite bitter

2010-01-30T03:05:00.042-06:00

OK, Sebastian knew how to change a nappy. He'd done it plenty with Risa around, but there was no sense in letting Randy know that. A part of him was proud that Randy knew this much about kiddies. May he would make a good dad. He never thought of this before, but he did now.

True, Franny had to be a good 5 years older than Randy, but still, she was good for him. He couldn't help but notice. Randy seemed more confident now about so much. Especially, this baby stuff. And besides, what were they suppose to talk about. Evidently, he had no qualms about being affectionate with her, either. Which surprised Newt the most. How was that possible?

Sebastian had always taken Randy as being devoted to only appreciating the male form. Evidently, not.

He pulled back just then as he noticed Jamie in the kitchen putting on the finishing touches of their little dinner party. Sebastian excused himself.

"Father?" Sebastian had been remaining rather formal with him since his grand-dad had arrived. "May I ask you something?"

"Ask away?" Jamie looked back at him.

"Was it you?"

"Now what have I done." Jamie hugged himself tightly as if Sebastian was putting him to some challenge.

"You know exactly what you're capable of." Sebastian glared at him.

"Of course, I know what I'm capable of," Jamie just smiled. "Do you?"

"Maybe." Sebastian gave him a stare.

"What is it?" Jamie looked him in the eye.

"You know, with Franny and Randy."

"There names rhyming? Don't think so." He went back to placing rolls in a basket then.

"God, don't be arse with me, you know, very well, Randy's gay." Sebastian squinted.

"And?"

"And now he's not."

"So." Jamie shrugged.

"Well, is he really happy with her?" Sebastian almost snatched at a roll, but Jamie slapped his hand away.

"Have you asked him?"

"How could I possibly do that, aye?" Sebastian looked up at him.

"I guess we'll just see how long they endure. Isn't that the real test? What you go through with, with someone every given day?"

"I guess so." Sebastian shrugged.

"Well, then, you worry about yourself and who you love, and he'll do the same, I'm sure. That's all that, matters and we just have to be there for support, and of course happiness." Jamie handed him over a few rolls then, slathered in butter. "Give your friend a bite to eat. I'm sure we'll all starve before those birds come down to celebrate."

Sebastian smiled. He knew Jamie had powers, but he was afraid he'd never know exactly what he was capable of, nor how he came about them.

where do we go from here

2010-01-29T03:23:00.034-06:00

Randy wasn't so sure he was up for this dinner party. It wasn't that he'd exactly explained anything to Franny about Sebastian. He'd left that blank. Really, he just couldn't find the words. It didn't really matter. Well, he wanted to believe that. It didn't. He was the past and Franny was his future. Randy didn't want Franny to think he was on the fence about...well, the whole sexual oreintation thing.

Honestly, he could say if he'd never met Franny, perhaps, he would not have ever doubted himself or what he'd wanted. But she seemed to change everything, didn't she?

"Are you sure this isn't all about getting back at your parents?" She quizzed him from the very beginning.

"No." They hadn't crossed his mind. He didn't know what had changed him exactly. Maybe it was the thought that Cecil was just as disgusting as his very own biological mother and then the idea to have a parent with no backbone who hid everything from him. Maybe Franny was right, but he didn't think it so now. Not how far they'd come and the family he shared with her. It was beautiful on so many levels. And it was definitely not settling. It just was.

But now here he was at Sebastian's, and it was most likely they'd come face to face. Randy hadn't a thought in his head what he might say to him. They were strangers now. He couldn't think of how it used to be, between them. He felt nothing for him now. But he knew how Sebastian thought of him. Always the girlfriend. The wife. Whatever. And here he was watching the little ones for Franny while she was upstairs with Sasha and Katy. But this was different. He wanted to be helping. He wanted to be who Franny could count on. Because in the end, it was always great in bed. Always.

Just then Sebastian noticed Nico in the parlor. "We have toys, you know." He took Nico over to the chest chext to the sofa and started getting out blocks and stuffed animals for him. "I thought you knew where they were." He talked to him as if they were old friends. As if he came by daily.

"Whats that one's name?" He pointed to the baby that Randy was holding but he wasn't talking to Nico but to Randy.

"Byron." Randy told him.

"Like the poet?" Sebastian smiled.

"Perhaps." Randy didn't dwell on it.

"He seems to like you." Sebastian observed.

"He's actually pretty easy to handle." Randy told him. "You want to hold him?"

"I'll try." Sebastian shrugged.

"Its really not difficult." Randy carefully handed the baby over.

"He's a lot heavier than I thought he'd be." Sebastian said a bit nervous as he looked down at the baby.

"Could be the nappy's full." Randy shrugged.

"Well, I think I should hand him back to you." Sebastian edged the baby his way.

"Don't you want to change it?" Randy asked.

"I wouldn't know how." Sebastian gritted as if he had no business how.

"Well, come on, I'll show you." Randy had a feeling perhaps they could help each other even with the slightest things. It might come in handy with the days ahead.

its a party

2010-01-28T02:56:00.014-06:00

"We'll get this settled eventually with Benji." Maxie promised, but first he wanted Katy home with the baby. He was wired. But he didn't want to let out the fact that he was a bit angry that she'd left these details out about her brother.

It was hard not to discuss this with her, yet it would do no good.

"I at least called the police about it." He told her putting another pillow behind her head as he got her settled back home.

"The police!" She wailed as if that was the last thing she wanted.

"Don't go nuts on me, babe, we need to clear this up." He informed her.

"But what if they arrest me?" She looked at him frightened.

"They won't arrest you, he's quite an unsavory character as it is. You'll be fine. You will. If we want your cousin out of jail, you have to inform them what happened." He looked at her blankly. He could see she was scared. Especially the way she looked at Gracie as if she'd be taken away from her.

About then Sasha and Franny showed up with presents.

"See its a party." Maxie smiled. "Tea in bed and a party. What could go wrong?"

He hoped nothing went wrong.

after all

2010-01-27T01:13:00.038-06:00

"Really, I want to know?" Sebastian couldn't make Anita stop with the questions about Randy. It felt as if she was either trying to find pieces to the puzzle or possibly destroy them. "What was it about him?"

"You won't believe me," Sebastian confessed who traced Anita's cheek with his finger, thinking it wasn't this possible they'd ever be this close.

"But I would." They were close. So close to letting other things evolve in bed, but she wanted to talk instead.

"Well," He pondered a bit wondering if she'd think he was a bit of a sad sod, indeed. "He wanted me. No one, ever quite wanted me like that." He winced. "It didn't really matter to me that he was a guy. Just the thought that this person truly wanted to be with me. That was awesome, in its self, so I just went with it."

"I thought it was just to get back at me." Anita shed a bitter smile, but she didn't pull away.

"Maybe." He sighed.

"It was just difficult, you know," Anita started to explain. "With Theressa. It was so childish now, now that I think on it. I just wish I hadn't let her get to me. She used me."

"You were just mixed up. You know. Maybe we're more a like than we know." Sebastian smiled and kissed away what thought she might have that she was wrong. He knew she wasn't. Every kiss was a bit more strength they built within. Yes, Sebastian had to believe that. It made him happy that he'd been right about her all along. It was satisfying to know she was the one, after all.

in an ocean of misery

2010-01-26T01:44:00.014-06:00

"Does it make you mad that Randy won't talk to you, anymore?" Anita wanted to know from Sebastian. As it was, she needed a break from all the studying.

"Not really." Sebastian looked up from the psychology book he was reading. "He's moved on. So have I."

Anita nodded.

"Look, maybe he was just time spent, while I was waiting for you." He remained cool about it as if was a study of some kind, and the outcome hadn't harmed anyone.

Anita wanted to smile she really did, but there was so much she regretted. Would she always follow every whim? She had her back to Sebastian on the bed then. He put his book down and reached for her. His warmth wrapped around her like a beautiful blanket she wanted to hide in.

She felt his breath on her neck. Anita closed her eyes, a part of her was hungry to be with him, and yet she thought she was too bad for this. This was just not right. But when he kissed her neck, somehow a slight smile emerged. She couldn't think of any other place she'd want to be. There was no need to punish herself. Enough was enough. And she needed an anchor. Perhaps they could keep each other from drowning.

home again home again

2010-01-25T03:45:00.039-06:00

Randy had heard talk at school about Sebastian and Anita. He didn't know if it were true or not, but it sounded like something had happened bad. Anita had lost the baby. It was a shock, yet deep down, he should have seen it coming. He didn't want to think at all about his moment with Anita. It was so awful. Nothing like being with Franny.

He was glad that was behind him now. And honestly, he'd never felt so home before, being with her and her children. He could hardly wait to see her, again. As it was, he'd made dinner, fed the boys. He read Nico stories who had already had his bath.

When Franny got home he had dinner waiting.

"Um, smells good." She kissed him sweetly.

"I hope so." He went to dish out the stew while she tore a bit of bread to dip into the broth.

"I saw a brand new baby today. Just an hour or so old." She told him.

"Really? Anyone you know?" He studied her smile wondering what it could mean.

"Yes. We used to be such good friends." She nodded as she ate the bit of bread from the stew.

"Do you miss them?" Randy wondered if he'd taken her away from them, somehow.

"I did. But not that much, anymore." She smiled. "I promised we'd come around have dinner with them, once they're settled at home with the new baby."

"Well, then, I'm up for it." He smiled as she took his hand and put it against her cheek and kissed it. Randy couldn't help but smile.

It felt so instant. The stew was left on its own, because they were in bed having a go as if it might be a competition of some kind, just to find themselves in a sweat, afterwards. Randy grinned as he looked back at Franny as if maybe she wasn't finished yet. He almost laughed as she got on top. Really, she was exhilarating.

not a moment to soon

2010-01-24T03:35:00.002-06:00

"I love the name," Franny couldn't wait to hold the baby. She came by the nursery to see how Maxie was doing.

"You think Katy will?" Maxie squinted.

"I'm sure she will." Franny imagine.

"How you been?" Maxie looked at her so innocent. "I never see you anymore."

"Actually, I'm great. Just waiting for the divorce to be final." Franny nodded.

"Divorce? You and Cecil? Is there someone else?" Maxie wanted to know.

"Yes, there's someone else." She wasn't sure if talking about it in the nursery was exactly the place to do it. "But Cecil seems quite happy now, and I've found someone else too."

"So quickly?" Maxie winced.

"Yes, so quickly." She agreed. "But, I've never been better, actually."

"Really?" Maxie almost smiled.

"Yes, I'm happy now. Really, Randy makes me happy." She nodded.

"Well, bring him around, will you?" Maxie was serious.

"Sure, sometime soon. Well, not too soon. You all three need your rest." She smiled and handed the baby girl back to him. She guessed she'd need to find a gift for a baby girl. Funny, how she'd always wanted a daughter, but had two sons. She supposed she'd just have to be content.

she's here

2010-01-23T03:15:00.022-06:00

Maxie felt as if it had been ages that Katy had been in pain. He could hardly stand to hear her cries, and he had no feeling in his hand anymore from where she'd gripped it. Really, when the nurse said it was time, he couldn't hardly wait, and then it was still a good thirty minutes before the babe's arrival.

A girl. And she was pink and wrinkly and not a hair on her head. Maxie just smiled as he held her. He couldn't possibly think who she looked like. Of course, she sucked on her fist. It was impossible to make out her mouth. But it was the shock of having this living thing in his arms. He could hardly believe it was his. Actually, almost unbelievable. But it felt good to feel her weight and her movements. He was instantly in love.

"What shall be her name?" He asked her. But Katy only mumbled. She was practically asleep now.

"What did you say?" He listened as hard as he could, but again she only mumbled, and he wasn't sure what she said.

Maxie let Katy have her rest and went to the nursery with the baby. They gave him hand's on instruction on how to take care of the infant. He was so happy yet groggy himself. But really, he needed a name for this sweet little thing. He didn't want to dare put her in her crib until he had a name. He thought of celebrity names and such. No way was he going to name her a fruit or a thing. Maxie then smiled. Why hadn't he thought of it before. The baby would be Grace. Plain and simple. Now he hoped Katy was OK with it. Well, they'd call her Gracie, he then thought.

don't change

2010-01-21T01:48:00.058-06:00

I'm standing here on the ground
The sky above won't fall down
See no evil in all direction
Resolution of happiness
Things have been dark
For too long

Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me
Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me

I found a love that I had lost
It was gone for too long
Hear no evil in all directions
Execution of bitterness
Message received loud and clear

Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me
Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me

I'm standing here on the ground
The sky above won't fall down
See no evil in all direction
Resolution of happiness
Things have been dark
For too long

Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me
Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me
Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me
-INXS

The shower had been warm and inviting. It made Soren all the more aware of what could happen. But it didn't. They'd lingered under the steam where they kissed and touched. Perhaps that was enough, or just to want more of each other.

It was peculiar how a chill came over him once they reached his room again. They couldn't get under the covers fast enough. It was there he didn't move but was swallowed up in Rupert's kisses as his skin pressed against Rupert's.

Finally Rupert looked at him and Soren caught his gaze. He imagined how it could be, but usually, he was plenty drunk or high or drugged, but this was different. It was simply just the two of them, and Soren knew he wouldn't want it any other way.

"What?" Rupert questioned.

"You really want to?" Soren didn't know if he were any good at this. Fucking, of course. Making love, he wasn't so sure.

"You know I do." Rupert sounded sure.

Soren almost smiled. He kissed Rupert.

"We don't have too." Soren side. "We can wait."

Rupert looked a bit hurt then.

"I don't want to rush into this. I don't." Soren winced.

"But you do with everyone else, don't you?" Rupert pressed his lips tight as if Soren was being unfair about this.

"I just want to be your boyfriend right now." Soren decided.

"But-"

"When the times right, we'll know." Soren smiled as he hugged Rupert close.