Monday, March 22, 2010

what have I done to deserve this

"Qu'ai-je fait pour mériter cela?" Louie whispered as he watched Sebastian sleep. It seemed the only way possible to have him to himself now. He'd had to take him out once again to just to get him to a room where they could be alone.

He was certain of it now. Jamie had brained washed him. Of course, it was Louie who had started the lie and lived with it so long. He'd never been able to tell his grandmother the truth because when she'd first seen Sebastian many years ago she just assumed that he was Louie's baby brother. It seemed, a mother he didn't know, was quite the wayward daughter and his grandmother had raised all her children. She just suspected he was another one. Of course, she'd told him then that she really wasn't up for it. Her health was bad, and she was very old. Naturally, he'd told her not to worry. He would take care of everything. And he had, for the most part.

But now he didn't know how much the truth really meant to him. Why had been so quick to give him up? Having Sebastian imagine all this time of someone regal and upstanding as his father. Well, Jamie certain wasn't that. And as much as Louie hated Jamie, he knew there was a time when he loved him too. Things could have been so different. He winced now.

If only he hadn't gotten mixed up with Jamie's mother. It had been such foolishness. Confusing and then maddening. When would it stop? When?

Louie took a deep breath.

"I want you to know everything." He shook the young man from his sleep. Sebastian was not a boy, anymore.

"What?" Sebastian winced.

"I know that you hate me. And you could possibly hate me more, but." Louie was dizzy at the thought as he sat himself down on the bed and looked at Sebastian. "But I am your father. Not Jamie."

"You fucking liar! Its not true! Its not!" Sebastian crumbled in a sad scowl.

"I've lied all this time. I have, and I'm sorry. Really, but you're mine. You're not Jamie's. You're his half-brother." Louie nodded.

"No." Sebastian shook his head. Of course, the drugs kept him from lashing out at him. "No. I don't believe you. I don't. I hate you. I hate you! Stop messing with me, will you!"

"But its true. It is." Louie nodded. "I was all of  15 when you were born."

Sebastian glared at him, silently.

Louie got out his wallet then and took out the only picture he had of Sebastian's mother and showed it to him. "I'm sorry I kept it from you. I am. But Leo is not your grandfather. He's the man who sent you away." Leo was in the picture with the woman.

3 comments:

ellie said...

Definitely, interesting. I'm glad Sebastian is getting some info he needs even if its not exactly the way I would have done it.

meg said...

I'm glad he knows the truth now.

Meg said...

I feel bad for Sebastian. That is a lot to process!