Friday, January 29, 2010

where do we go from here

Randy wasn't so sure he was up for this dinner party. It wasn't that he'd exactly explained anything to Franny about Sebastian. He'd left that blank. Really, he just couldn't find the words. It didn't really matter. Well, he wanted to believe that. It didn't. He was the past and Franny was his future. Randy didn't want Franny to think he was on the fence about...well, the whole sexual oreintation thing.

Honestly, he could say if he'd never met Franny, perhaps, he would not have ever doubted himself or what he'd wanted. But she seemed to change everything, didn't she?

"Are you sure this isn't all about getting back at your parents?" She quizzed him from the very beginning.

"No." They hadn't crossed his mind. He didn't know what had changed him exactly. Maybe it was the thought that Cecil was just as disgusting as his very own biological mother and then the idea to have a parent with no backbone who hid everything from him. Maybe Franny was right, but he didn't think it so now. Not how far they'd come and the family he shared with her. It was beautiful on so many levels. And it was definitely not settling. It just was.

But now here he was at Sebastian's, and it was most likely they'd come face to face. Randy hadn't a thought in his head what he might say to him. They were strangers now. He couldn't think of how it used to be, between them. He felt nothing for him now. But he knew how Sebastian thought of him. Always the girlfriend. The wife. Whatever. And here he was watching the little ones for Franny while she was upstairs with Sasha and Katy. But this was different. He wanted to be helping. He wanted to be who Franny could count on. Because in the end, it was always great in bed. Always.

Just then Sebastian noticed Nico in the parlor. "We have toys, you know." He took Nico over to the chest chext to the sofa and started getting out blocks and stuffed animals for him. "I thought you knew where they were." He talked to him as if they were old friends. As if he came by daily.

"Whats that one's name?" He pointed to the baby that Randy was holding but he wasn't talking to Nico but to Randy.

"Byron." Randy told him.

"Like the poet?" Sebastian smiled.

"Perhaps." Randy didn't dwell on it.

"He seems to like you." Sebastian observed.

"He's actually pretty easy to handle." Randy told him. "You want to hold him?"

"I'll try." Sebastian shrugged.

"Its really not difficult." Randy carefully handed the baby over.

"He's a lot heavier than I thought he'd be." Sebastian said a bit nervous as he looked down at the baby.

"Could be the nappy's full." Randy shrugged.

"Well, I think I should hand him back to you." Sebastian edged the baby his way.

"Don't you want to change it?" Randy asked.

"I wouldn't know how." Sebastian gritted as if he had no business how.

"Well, come on, I'll show you." Randy had a feeling perhaps they could help each other even with the slightest things. It might come in handy with the days ahead.


ellie said...

aw..that was sweet. Really.

Meg said...

Holding a baby can be nerve-wracking if you haven't done it before!

cass and cady said...

sweet to see them with babies..yeah, it can be so scary, too.