Tuesday, September 29, 2009

up in smoke

Dearest A-

I see you are on the outs with me. Sorry. I know its hard. The truth can be like that, but you are better off in treatment. You'll know some day. So tell me to fuck off. I can take it. I am a big boy.

I've been seeing someone and well, its changed me. Brilliantly.

The right person can do that. You know, change you for the better and you don't even know. Really, you don't. And then it hits you that it's happened, and it feels really delightful and maybe even tingly in a very good way. And then you want to fuck something, but you don't let yourself because you know its much more than a good fuck. Its a new life you want to live and everything you know that you are for the better, not the worst. To know, you can go on even stronger than you ever imagined.

Sorry, it hasn't happened to you. Maybe it never will. Maybe you'll wish you'd loved me when you had a chance. Well, those days are over.

Much ado about nothing,

Your hateful friend,
S

Anita was crushed when she read his words. She smashed the letter in a ball and thought she might eat it just so no one would see it, but she lit a cigarette instead and burned the letter in an ashtray on her bed at the treatment home. She grinned. No one was really on the ball around here. And she had a little mad fire in her bed. What a joke.

Only Mia came to notice. She took the cigarette from Anita and watched the little fire flare.

"Was it your boy?" She wanted to know.

"If you could call him such." Anita snarled.

"You know, you leave him unsettled, and hungry." Mia just smiled as if Anita had a hold over him when in fact it was possibly the other way around. "A pill?" Mia held out one for her. Actually it was three, six. Well, some for Anita. Some for her. They were solemn for a bit, watching the flames carry on, as everything grew dim.

Anita smiled. Mia always knew what she needed.

3 comments:

ellie said...

I loved the letter. It made me laugh! Ohhhh...those very bad girls.

simon n josh said...

Yeah..I got a chuckle out of the letter too.

colin gray said...

great letter..burning the letter in bed..wow!