You bastard! How pious you must feel now. What have you done to me? I thought you my friend. Who the fuck do you think you are? Doing this dreadful shit to me? What? You think it might help? You know you can't change me. You really can't.... even if you think you have. It won't take. I won't let it.
I hate you so much.
"I think its just the drugs," Randy said after he read it and then gave the letter back to Sebastian. They were eating lunch at school. Sebastian hadn't wanted to spoil their time later when they'd be in Randy's room.
"See, I told you how she'd feel." Sebastian felt so indifferent now. Ugly, in fact.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You had too," Randy looked at him so loving and understanding. "It was for her own good, she'll see that some day. Just not anytime soon."
"I guess, you're right," Sebastian sighed. "I feel so bad, though. She makes me feel horrible."
"You can't let her have that hold on you. She just wants to blame everyone, but herself." Randy reminded him.
Sebastian looked up from his tuna surprise to see Theresa standing there.
"How's Anita?" She looked at him as if she'd give him something good if he had the right answer.
"Don't you know?"
"Know what? Her mother says its mono. She'll be out for a good long time. Says its the worst case ever. I don't know how it could be. Can't remember her with anyone, but you." She glared at him.
"All I can think of... is you," Sebastian glared right back. "Why Aren't you ill?"
Theresa squinted a harsh scowl. Sebastian smiled so delightfully. "Fuck off, she meant nothing to you and you know it."
Theresa strutted off then.
"Well, done," Randy grinned. "You're brilliant. Positively."
around and around we go
22 hours ago