Monday, August 31, 2009

never again

Honestly, Sebastian didn't want to come out of the hot shower. He could have stayed in there all day just so he wouldn't have to face anyone.

Really, he wanted to say last night was just a blur. Had to be. That's what he'd say to Randy if he asked. It was blur. Plain and simple. Yet, he remembered it well even if they did finally fall asleep at the water's edge. Thank God, when sunlight shown they'd awoken just before the footballers arrived. They hadn't even had time to say good-bye to each other properly. Sebastian had to wonder if they would have kissed then, too. But they didn't. Each took off running like a frightened deer at the edge of the forest.

He didn't know what to make of himself now. Honestly, it didn't do that much for him. Other than wanting to be a better kisser. That's all it was. He wanted to believe that. And if Randy could forget, all the better. He would. It was just something to blame the wine on. Really. A one off. Of course, it was just kissing. It wasn't that bad.

Sebastian got back to his room and crawled under the covers thinking he needed to spend more time with himself. Wasn't that what he was really missing? Hadn't even had time to completely enjoy that book size laptop of his. It was lovely. His favorite color pink.

He squinted in disgust with himself. A sure sign he was gay, he guessed. It had never bothered him until now. He liked wearing that color. He had a pink polo shirt he adored. Well, he was about ready to throw it out now. Honestly, didn't want to be like his brother and all. It would not be fitting. He wanted to fit in. And there was Anita to think about.

He was so mad at her. Still. Probably with Theresa right now. A fun sleep over. He guessed. It pained him to think they were in deeper now than ever before. It was just maddening. And he needed sleep, and he needed to never think about Randy again. He never wanted to see him. Ever.

Monty & Gemma


CC said...

Hey! I can't seem to find the first chapter....Erm?
Could you send me link? :)

CC said...

Hey! I can't seem to find the first chapter....Erm?
Could you send me link? :)

e.l. said...

Hi, thanks for adding the link & pic of Nick&heath at the bottom of your page.

I really like this about Sebastian.

selena st.john said...

Have you ever thought of writing.
a book?

youre really good. AND really helpfull. :)
i did the thing you told me to do. thanks!

Ivyoaks said...

Thanks for the note. Glad I could help. Thanks for reading.

Adela said...

soudns good! i cant wait to read more! =)

past the point said...

I feel said for Sebastian.

past the point said...

I mean SAD..geese..sorry.

Winnie said...

Liking the colour pink isn't a sign you're gay, I think he needs to forget that stereotype...but also accept himself too!

Cait said...

Oh sebastian, he's got stay positive.

cass and cady said...

I feel for him.