Anita hadn't seen Sebastian in days. It felt like eons. She hoped he didn't think it was the end of the world. But he was being mysterious. She thought for sure he'd be back at the library.
As it was she was still thinking of Theresa. Really, it was awful. It did her no good. It wasn't that Theresa wanted her. She wasn't sure they could even be friends. It was getting to her. This pain. She just wanted it to go away. Somehow.
She hated these feelings she had for Theresa. Why was it so easy for Theresa? She could go in and out of relationships without a second thought. It was as if every beau was just a new ticket somewhere and yet there was a time Theresa had been very passionate with her. It still pricked her senses to think she could be so sure Theresa was the one.
Anita had it all written down in her notebook. They were important moments, and she had no where else to keep them. It just didn't seem possible now. Like a faded dream that maybe she'd have a chance with her. And they could be happy.
Only, Theresa wasn't ever going to tell anyone how she really felt about her. It just wasn't part of Theresa's style.
And of course, Sebastian was so Sebastian. Anita didn't really feel a thing for him. Did she? He was so young, after all. It was pointless. Had to be? Only there was just something sexual about him that she was sure he hadn't even an inkling of it which made her smile all the more. He was interesting.
And yet, really if he could be a mate..that's all she wanted. A mate. She didn't have one of those to confide in. Even if she could, she had doubts he'd want to listen about her silly love life.
She sighed and fell back on her bed. The notebook dropped on the floor.
Suddenly, it occurred her that maybe there was something to release all this agony she felt for Theresa inside her. She stared at the ceiling pondering, wondering if she had the guts to do it.
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