Monday, August 10, 2009

at the edge

Anita had done the unimaginable. She'd cried a good bit in the shower. It felt like the beginning of a cleansing of some sort. But when she cut the hot water, she stood there for a bit staring at the razor at the corner of the bathtub. It was as if it had a power all of it own.

She'd taken it to the shower with her before. It was actually Fletch's. She'd found it in some of his stuff. It was in a package. Never used. It was rather sterile. She supposed it would get the job done. Simply metal and fierce.

She grabbed it carefully to not nick herself with it. But the longer she held it, her hand began to shake, and she shivered then as she exposed her inner thigh more. It was inevitable. She cut her thigh so carefully without even thinking.

Anita smiled then as if she was quite good at this. It felt so amazing and electric. She started to shake, and she cut her thigh once more and a third just for good measure. She was so satisfied. But then the blood came, she thought she might die.

She tossed the blade on the floor then and turned the water back on, hoping the blood would go away quickly. It did for a few minutes. It stung. It bit back. Not too much. She would get used to it. She could. It was nothing, she kept telling herself as she studied the lines on her inner thigh with the water off again. She blinked then, thinking it was her imagination to see the blood once more, but it seeped through, red lines almost pulsating. She put a wet wash cloth on it then. Tears came to her eyes. It was a different kind. Tears just for herself. She guessed.

What was she doing? Would the blood ever go away?

Newt notices a change

5 comments:

ellie said...

I feel so bad for her. She really is troubled.

Cait said...

How could she? Anita, needs to tell someone how she's feeling.

taffy. said...

oh anita... sebastian will fix this!

taffy. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meg said...

I feel so bad for her!