Sunday, July 26, 2009

expectations


Sebastian wasn't sure what to expect. It was just the thought of wanting something different. He guessed.

He'd always had Louie and in spite of everything, he felt to be a burden for the most part. He still felt it. He was a burden here too. Yet, everyone was so cordial. Even his Dad was nice enough that he hadn't quite felt comfortable enough calling Dad.

What would he say? "Would you mind it? If I called you Dad?" It gave him shivers to think about. Really. As it was he felt so lost, but he didn't want to be home, either. He didn't miss it.

Could he tell them he just wanted to travel. That's what it was. He wanted something normal. To be in a normal family.

Yet, it felt more of the same at Simon and Josh's. So many males around. Couldn't there be the usual, mother and father. Female and male as a unit. Was that too much to ask for? Why couldn't his father have a wife. Was Sebastian just too old fashioned for his own good?

And then to go home to a boarding house. His father had a room in a boarding house.

"Well, you'll have your own room." His Dad had said right away. "Its just temporary."

Was it? Did it mean his Dad wanted to send him back in a week's time? Was that what he was getting at? Or was it his Dad had in mind to find them a place of their own?

So much to take in. Sebastian wondered when he'd finally be home. What if he never exactly had one?

3 comments:

e.l. said...

I do feel sad for Sebastian because I really think he wants a family. A real one.

cait said...

I feel really sad for him. I hope Jamie will be there for him.

past the point said...

sebastian deserves a home.