Tuesday, May 19, 2009

deciding moment

Frannie watched Nico sleep in his crib. She rested on her side, wishing she could sleep. Suddenly, she felt the baby kick inside her stomach. It was the first time she'd noticed it, happening. A quick smile came to her, but then it was crushed when she thought, what would she do with two children all alone?

The tears came next as she thought about it. She wondered if Rhys ever thought about her at all. She didn't know why that thought had entered her brain. She wished not to think of him. She even hated the sound of his name.

She had to keep telling herself she had to be grateful for all she had. The bed was big enough to enjoy. Really, it was a beautiful room with a window seat in the bay window. It was her room. She adored it. Well, it wasn't hers, now was it? She was only renting it. She would never actually own it.

Frannie hugged a pillow then. How did she really feel about Cecil? She did enjoy his company. He was good to Nico. Yet she was certain he deserved better. Cecil deserved someone who wasn't going to take him for granted. She didn't want to, and yet she needed him, at the same time.

He'd been jilted by Sasha because of Rhys and now she wondered how he'd feel if he knew this was Rhys' baby she was going to have. A part of her found a comfort in telling him now so she'd she'd know exactly how alone she already was especially when it was the three of them without anyone.

She cried herself asleep.

2 comments:

sid n violet said...

I think things are different for her and Cecil.

ellie said...

That was so sad. I know Cecil wouldn't let her down.